This Just In: Christianity Survives Ex-Virgins!

by Mike Duran · 18 comments

What does it prove if Tim Tebow’s NOT a virgin? That he’s a liar? A hypocrite? A… human?

From The Washington Post’s The Temptation of Tim Tebow:

I’m throwing a penalty flag. The infraction? Roughing the passer. As well as millions of people worldwide, some people of faith, all people of conviction, who live by the same values the passer lives by.

The injured party? New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow. The guilty party? AshleyMadison.com, a Web site whose sole contribution to the greater cultural good is helping married men and women arrange secret adulterous affairs. You may have heard how Ashley Madison has offered a bounty of $1 million to anyone who can offer proof of having had sex with Tebow, the famously and unapologetically Christian athlete who has publicly declared – because the media have been rude enough to ask him the question – that he is, at age 24 and single, a virgin.

You heard it right, folks. One million dollars to anyone who can prove they had sex with Tim Tebow.

  • Question: Why is Tim Tebow’s alleged virginity important?
  • Answer: Because he’s a Christian.

Yes, it’s about money. Yes, it’s about headlines. Yes, it’s about taking advantage of the Tebow bandwagon.

But at it’s heart, it’s about denigrating believers.

Thankfully, the Christian religion does not require my perfection — or Tim Tebow’s, Mel Gibson’s, Ted Haggard’s, or anyone’s — for its validation. In fact, Christianity has survived centuries of liars,  racists, misogynists, madmen, con-men, hypocrites, and ex-virgins.

More power to Tim Tebow. May he stand strong. And if he’s proven to be an ex-virgin? A lying ex-virgin? A lying, hypocritical ex-virgin? A lying, phony-baloney, two-faced, goody-two-shoes, hypocritical, ex-virgin?

Hey, welcome to the club.

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

E. Stephen Burnett April 27, 2012 at 6:36 AM

Friends from church and I were discussing this, and I concluded a few things.

a) That Website is mainly doing this as a lamely rabble-rousing publicity stunt. They want outraged reactions and pundits to do their advertising for them. I’m not saying Don’t talk about it ever. Just saying.

b) It’s hard enough dealing with sexual crap in this world that exists by default, without people actively trying to tempt you by name. May God empower Tebow. May others pray.

c) A solution to the scam: a woman arrives at That Website with whatever “evidence” they want. They give her the money. They (a bunch of flabby white men in bulging suits who rarely Get Some, and when they do get it it’s not very good) inevitably beg for her to be a spokesperson, and she says no. Then she flashes them — her marriage certificate, with Tim Tebow, dated three months ago from a super-secret ceremony. And they donate the money to charity or to men’s purity breakfasts or something. That would be the best Tebow score ever.

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Katherine Coble April 27, 2012 at 6:39 AM

Heh. What a waste of a million dollars. Honestly.

Although this is precisely why I think it’s a bad idea to hold up any human other than Jesus as a life example. If we don’t keep our eyes on our own paper, the odds are strong that we’ll copy down a wrong answer.

I am a Christian who was saved at 4, who went to Christian elementary and high school and two years of Christian college. Of the Christians I’ve discussed such things with I am the only one who was a virgin when she met her spouse. And that’s a LOT of Christians.

We like sex as much as anybody.

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sally apokedak April 27, 2012 at 6:51 AM

I know many Christians who were virgins when they married. I think it depends on the denomination you grow up in. In some denominations it’s expected that you don’t have premarital sex. I know several young men and women who were not only virgins, they also had never been kissed until they were married.

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Katherine Coble April 27, 2012 at 6:55 AM

I grew up in a VERY conservative denomination. I honestly think that it’s more that the people who are willing to talk about it are usually more willing to not wait.

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Gina Burgess April 27, 2012 at 8:07 AM

Amen, and amen, K!

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sally apokedak April 27, 2012 at 6:43 AM

A million dollars? Why would anyone care to prove a Christian is a hypocrite. As you say, we all know Christians are hypocrites. What a waste of money. Why not take the million dollars and give it to an orphanage in Africa?

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Carradee April 27, 2012 at 7:41 AM

As someone who’s around Tebow’s age, I get scoffed at and called a liar (or abnormal) for admitting I’m single and a virgin. So I understand folks’ reluctance to admit the same.

Really, if folks just occupied their minds with things other than sex, they wouldn’t have all that hard a time with it. I don’t—and, contrary to what I’ve been accused, I doubt my “sex drive” is less than average. I’m just good at self-distraction.

I also avoided the entire “boyfriend” thing while a teen, because it seemed foolish. All that emotional mania, and for what? To learn how to have a temporary relationship, years before you’re ready for a permanent one?

Yes, I was that logical even at age 12.

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Iola May 3, 2012 at 8:14 PM

“I also avoided the entire “boyfriend” thing while a teen, because it seemed foolish. All that emotional mania, and for what? To learn how to have a temporary relationship, years before you’re ready for a permanent one?

Yes, I was that logical even at age 12.”

If you could package that up and sell it… you’d put a lot of therapists out of work.

Congratulations for holding on to what you believe.

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Jay DiNitto April 27, 2012 at 8:19 AM

The offer of $1 mil, even if no one surfaces with “proof”, is still good to keep the website in the spotlight.

But anyways, some/lots/whatever amount of Christians have premarital sex in recent times because we culturally delay marriage and adulthood until well after it’s biologically advisable. Our hormones are raging for well over a decade before we can finally drain them out in acceptable (to the church) circumstances.

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Mike Duran April 27, 2012 at 8:22 AM

Sex = “Hormone draining.”

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Jay DiNitto April 27, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Well, I don’t think that’s all it is, of course.

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Mike Duran April 27, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Of course. I just found that phrase funny. Sorry if I took away from your point, Jay.

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Jay DiNitto April 27, 2012 at 11:14 AM

No it’s okay. I did put it rather crudely.

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D k LeVick April 27, 2012 at 9:30 AM

If Christ were born in today’s world, one wonders how many websites would offer a million dollars for ‘proof’ Mary was not a virgin.

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Jason Brown April 27, 2012 at 10:37 AM

It’s rather sad that even the skeptics and atheists I work with can recognize the values of Christianity and the flaws of humanity in each Christian better than the media can.

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TC Avey April 27, 2012 at 11:35 AM

The world foams at the mouth for an opportunity to take someone down- especially positive role models. As the Body of Christ we should be praying for him. Satan loves to destroy any positive force that seeks to bring God glory.

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Jessica Thomas April 27, 2012 at 12:40 PM

Wow. Pathetic. What grade are we in? Really. It’s nobody’s business.

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Bob Avey April 28, 2012 at 1:48 PM

You’re totally right, Mike. Tebow has been put under a microscope in such a way that no other quarterback, or any other sports star, has had to endure. And it’s strictly because he’s a Christian.

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