We writers have long memories, often in the worst ways.
Which is probably why I’ll never forget what one literary said about my first novel. I was at the beginning of my agent search back in 2005-06. This particular agent had requested three sample chapters of what would go on to become the first of two contracted novels. Snail mail was still in effect back then. Well, one day Lisa called me at work and reported a letter from said agency. She tore open the letter and read,
While your project exhibits merit it does not quite meet or exceed the standards we are looking for at this time. If we were to grade your manuscript it would receive a C+. This is a fair grade but means that the ultimate execution of the story is not quite good enough to break in for a first time novelist.
Hey, back in high school a C+ would’ve been awesome! But when that grade comes from a literary agent, and it’s regarding your first novel, that kinda sucks.
I’ve never forgotten that rejection. Or the agent who issued it. In fact, when I was offered a contract for that C+ novel (can you feel the sarcasm?), I think I shouted, “What do you think about that Mr. C+!” (I might add, that same novel didn’t make the ACFW Genesis Contest cut that year either. So, “Take that you Genesis judges!”)
So is success really the best revenge?
If the “haters” on my checklist are any indication, no. Okay, so they’re not really “haters.” And I haven’t had that much success. But it’s funny how all the little slights, dismissals, bad reviews, and lukewarm praise want to stick in my craw. It’s true of so many writers: We have a great memory… especially when it comes to those who seemingly diss us along the way.
I could tell you about a now rather popular YA novelist whose short story I had the pleasure of editing, who wouldn’t give me the time of day. Or a well-known Christian novelist who publicly said my criticisms of Christian fiction were the byproduct of jealousy.
Yeah, I remember. To my shame, I remember.
So I’m well on my third full-length novel now. Things seem to be going okay. I don’t feel like a C+ author. And even if I am, that’s halfway to B. I’ve got a terrific agent and some wonderful writer friends.
Nevertheless, I have this long memory…
So is success really the best revenge? Hmm. As long as you continue keeping tabs, I wonder if you’ll ever really have success.
Having a good memory about such things is hard.
Maybe it’s because I’m the youngest child and I was always treated like I was dumb because I knew less than everyone else, or maybe it’s because my father didn’t believe in praising children because he thought it would give them big heads, but I’m always thrilled when people say anything positive about my work and I’ve never really heard anyone say anything negative. I mean, I’ve had plenty of rejection, but I haven’t heard anyone diss my work. And to me lukewarm praise is way more than my father ever gave me, so it feels great. 🙂
I guess my point is that we can be a glass half-full person in this, too. We can hear the positives and forget about the negatives, if we will readjust our thinking. I was trained to believe I didn’t deserve praise so any praise is great. If I thought I deserved praise then no praise would be enough to satisfy me, probably.
So just join a good Calvinist church, Mike, and get it through your thick skull that you are a worm. After that you’ll be so grateful for those c+ grades you won’t be able to contain your joy. 🙂
I think you’re right, Mike. When we dwell on the negativity (perceived or real) of others, we invite it to exert power over us to some extent.
And yeah, I’m guilty of it, although I don’t think I write to impress my ‘nemeses’ as I call them.
But gee, it’d sure be sweet to make ’em eat crow, wouldn’t it?
I really only have two, and I consider myself justified. One is a professional, respected writer who gave me a toxic, undeserved thrashing for a story my high school writing teacher submitted to his writers workshop without my knowledge. He mistakenly believed I didn’t read or care about his guidelines and just spewed all this red ink on my story, going so far as to even mock my last name. I don’t know what was going on in his life at the time, but he was pretty discouraging to a fledgling writer, something I don’t personally think is ever warranted. When I joined the HWA two years ago and started seeing his name again, and then when I sat behind my own books at an autograph session at WHC in eyesight of him, I started entertaining the idea of making it my personal quest to outshine the guy. Had no idea how much that 30 year old slight still affected me.
Conversely, a few years ago at a popular convention I pitched a comic to a publishing house owner I had known as a kid (he owned the local comic shop) and was baffled when he proceeded to take me to task for not having picked up my box of monthly issues when I was nineteen (my family moved, and I forgot – this was about eleven years ago at the time) and sneer at the sample comic my writing partner and I had put together. It was kind of embarrassing to behold and to be a part of, as its a pretty well respected company and I just didn’t see it coming.
Of course this colored my opinion of the guy and everything he puts out. Now we are both missing out.
So yeah, people hold grudges, and it fouls their dealings. Best to let it go.
To date, I’ve only had one biting review that depressed me for a while. Though logically I know not everyone is going to like what I write, and as it goes, it is just one person’s opinion, and I’ve had plenty of positive reviews as well, it still was a sting to the old ego.
Strange how that is. And just keep in mind those famous writers whose work was rejected. Editors have a poor track record of picking winners sometimes. They are, after all, one person’s opinion. They just happen to be one person who can buy and publish your book.
But there are also a ton of readers out there who could buy it too. 🙂
Here’s revenge: the guy/gal who rejected Harry Potter. I wonder, I really wonder if a few of them (I believe it was rejected 12 times) remember Harry Potter and occasionally, very quietly, sit back in a chair and chuckle:
“I rejected Harry Potter.”
In possibly a mean way, I think agents/pubs are just as scared as writers. We’re afraid of being rejected. They’re afraid of rejecting the wrong thing. Can you imagine? Sitting at your desk, staring at fifty new submissions (or more???) that week and asking, which one of these will win the hearts of readers? Which are duds? Which look like one, but will actually turn out to be the other? This query I’m looking at…is this the next Big Franchise? Is the writer the next King, Grisham, Clark or Clancy?
In my down days, I think about that…probably shouldn’t, but, I don’t know, it helps to remember that the “power players” are just like us in their worry and fear. We’re all even, just playing different parts of the cast.
I think those rejections probably did you the favor of making you that much more determined to become published.
As for that C+ remark, that’s just snooty and rude. If someone is going to assign your writing a grade as though you are their “pupil”, they ought to at least have the decency to provide you with a stack of edits to show you how to improve. I understand why you felt slighted in that case.
I still hold an itty bitty grudge against a church I used to attend. I auditioned for their worship team and they gave me a pass saying “We don’t think you’re ready yet” and “If you want, I can give you some voice lessons.” Errr, no thanks, I have 7 years of classical training, but if you’d like I could give you some tips because I notice you have trouble hitting your high notes.
Ack, that sounds so bad when I write it down! Maybe not the most Christ-like response on my part.
I feel your pain.
This post reminds me of one of my favorite country songs. “How do you like me now – now that I’m on my way? Do you still think I’m crazy standing here today? I couldn’t make you love me, though I always dreamed about livin’ in your radio. How do you like me now?”
I heard that even though the song is about being rejected by a girl, it was inspired by the rejection of a recording studio (or something like that… I don’t remember exactly what it was).
So… perhaps the best revenge is not just success, but making bank off of a song/novel that says “How do you like me now!”
🙂
I know the tone of this post and all the comments is much more humble than that, but I still love that song and the story behind it.
One of the few chick flicks I totally enjoyed was “Pretty Woman.” And just about my favorite scene is where Vivian goes shopping in a really upscale women’s boutique, wearing her, um, street clothes : ). The snooty sales girls tell her, “You’re obviously in the wrong place. Please leave.”
Later she goes back all dolled up from shopping in some of the most expensive stores in NY, carrying so many shopping bags she can barely hold them all. She peeks into the store and says, “I was in here yesterday. You wouldn’t wait on me…Big mistake. Big. HUGE.”
Hm, yeah, that’s about all I have to add. Since I’m not in a position to be waving expensive shopping bags around–publishing with a small press would be the equivalent of me holding up a Target bag in the eyes of the snooty sales girls–I can’t really say how I feel. But I printed and saved every rejection l ever got and bound them in a 3-ring binder. Someday, I’ll do something with them. Even if it’s just using the backs to print out Amazon reviews when I finally have enough to fill them all. 😛
PS–love the image! (The doll is kinda star-shaped. It’s not stuffed with dog food, is it?)
To Mike Duran;
When I first wrote I was thinking about most of the comments which were about hate and grudge against God and Religion without knowing you were so much sarcastic at that time I cried when I see very clearly that so many haters shows in their comments what is their character is like. Take for instance the picture you sent me don’t tell me you are in the voodoo Business. As a religious person you did heart me, and I tell you why because it does not do you any good at present or in future you must remember that those people you heart are the once that might think twice before they buy your Novels. I have been over twenty four years studying the Bible and never get fed up of looking at it because I find all the answers that I need to know to survive. If to you was some sort of revenge as you stated? I feel sorry for to have such imagination and memory for revenge. I never in my mind by answering your criticism you take it personal I believe if you cannot take it you should listen love and understand the pain of others. Still I wish you best of luck for your Novels.
Albert.
Uh….what?
I don’t see the problem. You’re taking a negative emotion and using it for something positive. Sounds like a win-win to me. You’re not hurting anyone, and you’ll only better yourself. I’ve gotten more done because I was angry than I have because I was encouraged. The desire to prove someone wrong is a very powerful motivator.
Right. On. Target. Give me a minute to pull this arrow out of my chest.
The memory of slights dies slowly. Like a fire buried beneath the surface, it churns out anger. On one hand, I see Tony’s point: anger helps motivate. On the other hand, I see the Bible’s point: the anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God. (somewhere in James 1). So how do I utilize all that “motivation” and still “accomplish the righteousness of God”?
Prayer. Long or short; in the closet or sitting in the middle of traffic. Works for me. And I need to work it often. My memory is long, too. “Lord–help clear my mind of those worthless slights and keep my eyes on the only goal that matters.”
Soli Deo Gloria.
Everything you’ve ever written is purile, atrocious, dull and amateurish.
Now please exact your vicious revenge on me by writing a bunch more stuff. Thanks – as glad as I have been to follow you since Subterannea (or before), there are times when I wish I was behind on your publications.
PS – charge more for Winter Land. It’s priced way below market, at least from my personal buying habits. Heck, $2.99 would be on the low end – I’ve spent $4.99 on shorter work – way more content than a comic book. You can send the excess royalties to that C+ agent by way of thanks.
Subterannea! I loved that story. Man, you go that far back? Since you mentioned it xd, later this year I’ll be releasing a digital anthology of short stories that will include Subterannea. Re: the price of Winterland. Until I get more market traction (i.e., sales), I want to keep things as low as possible, especially since I have no control over the price of my other books. But I appreciate your kind words
So glad to hear it is coming out in a collection. I haven’t read it in years, but the thought of it conjures up an icy glass box around my heart. That, man, is a thumping, thrumming good story.
Oh, and what of the people you critique? What are they thinking about you?
I mentioned to a son upon leaving a church that we had belonged to for 17 yrs, that not once had anybody in that church offended me. So of course he had to ask me, “But how many people did you offend?”
I don’t know. I don’t have any way of knowing.
And what evil is in me that I wish you would name names?
“Forget about writing fiction. Fiction has to be stunning and you are NOT a writer of that caliber.” This came from my second agent. He wanted me to stick to non-fiction but I wanted to branch out into fiction. We had a back and forth struggle for two and half years until he left his literary firm and went out on his own. He let me out of my contract and now I have an awesome agent who got me a five book deal on, guess what, fiction. It is stunning? Not sure. But, I do know that criticism can either destroy you or motivate you. I choose to go forward and to learn. Now, I work at making my fiction “stunning”. One day, I may succeed.