CAUTION: This post contains quite a few dirty words.
Apparently, some Christians’ attitudes toward profanity are changing. For the worse.
Once when I was pastoring, a couple took me to task for using the word “crap” in the pulpit. I did not use the word “crap” very often when preaching and made sure that when I did, it was used for appropriate emphasis and not lazily. Well, during the course of their reprimand, this couple mentioned that they even refused to allow their children to say “poop” or “pee.” So having the pastor use the word “crap” was way out of bounds. (Thankfully, I’d never used the word “poop” or “pee” during a sermon or they might have strung me up right there.) Needless to say, they left the church soon after that.
The Apostle Paul wrote,“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths…” (Eph. 4:29). Most Christians use this, and several other verses, as a proof text for avoiding the use of profanity. The problem interpreting it this way is twofold.
For one, when Scripture talks about ‘sins of the tongue,’ it never specifies sinful words. The Bible is not the religious equivalent to the FCC’s “Seven dirty words” (none of which I’ve used in this post… yet). Instead, when Scripture describes the improper use of our mouths, it more often speak s to things like gossip, slander, lying, bearing false witness, back-biting, flattery, boasting, deceit, etc. Which seems to suggest that lying and bragging are far worse than saying “poop.”
The second problem is that language is malleable. So for some people, “crap” carries more weight than, let’s say, “rubbish,” but not quite as much weight as “shit,” even though “crap” and “shit” are basically the same thing. Point is, we’ve invested words with different degrees of power or badness or okay-ness. Sort of like an incantation — string the right (or wrong) sequence of words together and a genie appears, or something.
This approach leads to all kinds of nit-pickery. My experience publishing two books with a Christian fiction publisher serves as a good example. While all profanity was nixed from the books, namely the phrase “go to hell” and the word “bitch,” other words were approved. For instance, the word “crap.” Why was “crap” tolerable? Apparently, the word “crap” is derived from a real person, a plumber who was integral in the development of the flush toilet named Thomas Crapper. Really. That’s the reason I was given. Then there was inclusion of the word “flippin’.” Even though both “flippin'” and “friggin'” are substitutes for the F-word, “friggin'” sounds closer to the actual word, so is not allowable. These are the justifications the publisher used, which I think, reveals the waywardness of this approach. (I should note here that I consider using profanity in fiction as totally different than using profanity in ones day-to-day life. My fictional characters are allowed to say things I don’t approve of.)
All this to say, I sort of find myself in the middle of the “cussing Christian” debate. While I’m no prude, I also think that using profanity, for believers, should be purposeful, not sloppy and not excessive. I’ve always liked Tony Campolo’s famous sermon opener:
“I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”
That’s a good illustration, in my opinion, of how a Christian can use a “bad” word to their advantage.
What bothers me about cussing Christians is that, more and more, their cussing seems less purposeful and more lazy and excessive. Let me give you a few examples and then I’ll float some reasons why I think this is.
The first example is completely anecdotal. On the occasions where I’ve addressed certain hot topics like Christian feminism and anti-evangelical / anti-Fundamentalist groups, and have engaged with representatives on Twitter or Facebook, I’ve been somewhat taken aback by how foul-mouthed they are. (I’m refraining from linkage intentionally.) This is not meant to paint everyone in such a group as a blasphemer, but to suggest that in my experience, there appears to be a markedly greater freedom to call someone an “asshole” in those circles than, say, in your average “Christian” exchange.
Then there’s John Shore who writes The Comfortably Cursing Christian in which he states that he is “entirely confident that God is perfectly okay with me cursing whenever I want to.”
I like to curse, if cursing is called for. And it very often is. Our language has evolved in such a way that there are a lot of curse words and phrases that capture a thing way better than can be done without them–and I am nothing if not a slave to efficiency of articulation. If you say about someone (kids: close your eyes) “that guy’s just a fuck-up,” you’ve nailed that guy. Everyone knows exactly what you’ve communicated–which is actually really, really dense. You’re not saying the guy’s a bad person. You’re not saying he’s ill-intentioned. You’re not saying he’s constitutionally or congenitally incapable. You’re not subscribing to him any motivations. You’re not saying anything but that, well, he’s a fuck-up. And that perfectly says it all.
You take that phrase away from me because you think God has a problem with me intelligently using language?
I don’t think so.
This may be the only time you will ever hear the phrase “that guy’s just a fuck-up” described as being “really, really dense.”
And then you have Nadia Bolz -Weber, a female Lutheran pastor who recently released the book Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint. I was intrigued enough with Bolz-Weber’s story that I downloaded a sample of the book on Kindle and read the first chapter. And, once again, there was lotsa language. Her parish, the House for All Saints and Sinners, goes by the acronym, HFASS, which she pronounces “half-ass.” She also describes herself as “God’s Bitch,” the name she wanted to use for the title of the book. While I find Weber-Bolz a somewhat compelling figure, after a while, her use of language tends to become less impactful than it is straight sloppy.
These are just a couple examples of what I’m seeing as a trend toward more tolerance of, even encouragement of, Christian cussing.
So let me offer three brief ideas as to why this may be happening.
- Using profanity is way to flaunt Christian liberty. For the person who’s come out of a legalistic background, one that defined holiness in terms of what not to touch, eat, drink, do, wear, or say, then cussing can be a declaration that they are no longer bound by superstition. “I am SO free in Christ I can say ____________ (fill in the blank with your own unique imprecation).”
- Using profanity is a way to intentionally offend religious prudes. The advantage of having so many milquetoast, stuffed-shirt, thin-skinned believers is the ease at which they can be rankled. When intentionally “rankling” another Christ-follower becomes a legitimate offense, is another story.
- Using profanity as an attempt to be cool or gain acceptance. “I’m not one of those fuddy-duddy religious nobs. I’m hip and trendy and I will drop a few F-bombs just to prove it.”
With organized religion waning and Millennials leaving the faith of their fathers for something less standardized, cultural relevance and acceptance takes on new tones. Cussing is not only a way to distance ourselves from the sterile, stiff religion of our parents, but a way to show we are a new breed of hipster, unconcerned with cultural convention and free from the old restraints of the past.
Jesus said in Matt. 12:36, “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.” My guess is that some of those “empty words” will be cuss words.
Cussing Christians might herald a good thing. Being holy is so much more than just not using profanity. Separating from the holiness culture, a culture that imbues words with “magic” power, is a move in the right direction. My question is, in our attempt to distance ourselves from legalism and cultural irrelevance, have we swung too far in the opposite direction?
I am always torn by seeing the phrase: I’m no prude, but….
maybe we would be better of if more of us were prudes.
Excellent. This was me for a very long time, and is still a struggle. Like you, I find the problem not with the words themselves, but the emptiness of their use. And, honestly, the reasons behind their use. Your three reasons we use curse words more often, I’m sad to say, perfectly nailed my attitude of the past several years.
I love hanging around with Christian people who cuss well. Coach Culbertson is, I think, a master here. He is always trying to be more holy, and yet always trying to be more humble. So when he swears, he’s not showing off, he’s not flaunting his liberty, but he’s also no concerned about what the God Patrol Grammar Police think. He is comfortable in his own skin and tempers his language to his audience.
I’m like that. I have a gamer son who speaks differently in his room than he does in school or in church. I allow my language to be a little saltier when talking with him, not to show off, but to communicate in language he understands. I’m still the height of restraint compared to his friends, but there are times when the right word to that audience /is/ something with a little zing. I speak in that way to him because I love him and because he knows that I do hail to a higher standard. And I don’t use that language to belittle somebody (which is typically how obscenity is used, as a weapon). He knows when say ‘That’s f*cked up,’ I’m being completely serious, it’s a serious matter, and I’m using his language to explain just how completely horrible I think it is. It’s a language I never use in front of Linda and only in front of him, and only when it will have an affect with and to him. Using that language in this way has brought us closer together, and, ironically, encouraged him to temper his language at church and around the extended family for holidays.
I think Coach Culbertson might approve.
When God’s Holy Spirit gigs me for my language, it’s usually when I say something unkind about somebody or untrue about some thing, motive things.
Yes, I do approve. However, my approval will probably get you kicked out of several denominations LOL
(Waves!)
Heh. It helps that the community church I attend is non-denominational. 😉
Did this post just happen? Mike Duran criticizing the use of foul language? Wow, now I’ve seen everything.
Kidding. Well said, sir. I’m not a fan of swearing at all, particularly because my non christian friends hold me to some, albeit shallow, higher standard. Beyond that, I’d never want to discourage my more conservative Christian brothers and sister. . .and, well, I’ve just never felt the need to swear. I’ve never liked the words, myself.
But I try not to judge my brothers and sisters in Christ when they DO swear. Which is difficult when they do so in the way you’ve outlined here. THAT kind of swearing usually just annoys me, and upsets others. What’s the point??
Right on, Johne Cook. Amen.
You nailed it with your “three ideas” as to why this is happening.
I think the sloppy cussing is, in some cases, just young/immature Christians experimenting and finding their way. I’m okay with that. However, the John Shores of the world are delusional to think God “doesn’t care”. His justification is that he likes to cuss and he’s sure God’s okay with it? Really?? If we’re playing that game where we pretend we know what God thinks, then I’m going to pretend He’s up there saying, “You’re not nearly as cute as you think you are, John.” (But in reality, that’s just me thinking it.)
I think there are those for who the three reasons would apply. But I think it would only apply to those in some type of rebellion mode. As a matter of fact, some of this made me think it is the 60s all over again…needing to distance ones self from ones parents. Or just teen years in general.
I think by far the majority of people cuss or don’t cuss based on what they’ve grown up with or the groups that influenced them whether at school or work. So one person thinks saying fucked up is dense, another like me thinks it is just silly (You’re saying they just had sex? Sorry, I tend to take that word literally as I refuse to see something God created as good in a derogatory way…one reason sex is so messed up in our society.) So it always makes me laugh when someone says “fuck you.” Really? You’re so angry with them you want to have sex with them? That’s just stupid.
But that’s my view of that word. I think it is funny too that people feel free to say, “the F-word” instead of saying it. As if referring to it that way avoids us thinking it in our minds any less that just saying it. Politeness to not offend, sure, but there really is no difference.
But I grew up being taught cussing was bad. I think I may have even had my mouth washed out with soap at least once growing up. So I rarely use cuss words, even when some say most would, like slamming your fingers in a car door. I was too busy screaming to even thing about cussing.
It’s what you get used to and are culturally conditioned to be comfortable with. I think that is the majority reason people cuss. Not to be rebellious, but that, for them, is their normal. Which is why for them, slamming your fingers in a car door is naturally going to bring forth a cuss word. For others, a cuss word would be unnatural and you’d rarely hear one come from their mouth.
Blasphemy and cussing are two different things. They can overlap, but cussing doesn’t automatically equate to being blasphemous.
“So it always makes me laugh when someone says “fuck you.” Really? You’re so angry with them you want to have sex with them? That’s just stupid.”
^Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks this way! XD
“Fucked up” as a term for problematic situation has its root in military slang.
The term “fuck” is actually more akin to “have forcible sex” NOT “have sex”. That’s why I don’t fuck my husband. I make love to him.
So in the military when they say things are Fucked Up it generally means that the situation is so disordered as to cause harm to frontline personnel. Because “fucked up” is an easier thing to say than “be killed.”
Some common military acronyms are now in use by “good Christians”. Every time I see someone say “snafu” and still maintain they don’t use “that kind of language” I chuckle inwardly.
Maybe they were taught as I was that snafu meant situation normal all fouled up. I was surprised when somebody else told me that I got one of the words wrong.
I couldn’t confirm this. The acronym SNAFU has its roots in WW2 military (1941), but fuck has been around since as early as 1475, and examples of its more modern usage in “A 1790 poem by George Tucker has a father upset with his bookish son say “I’d not give [a fuck] for all you’ve read”.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck#Early_usage
All the definitions I saw said nothing about forcibly having sex. I’m sure that is a connotation some have on the word, but the base definition is simply to have sex. Until you mentioned it, I’ve never associated that connotation to the word.
I acknowledge its usage as a cuss word no longer means that. But I tend to hear it as saying that nonetheless, I guess because I don’t like the idea of using sex as a swear word. Shit makes sense. That’s nasty, so fits describing a messy situation. Saying “sex you,” just doesn’t fit, in my mind. It would be akin to using Eucharist as a swear word. It degrades the sacramental act of marriage to use it as a cuss word. IMO.
Of the “7 dirty words” 3 and a half are ones that I didn’t even think were mild epithets as bad as “darn” or “dang it.”
I have a feeling that the impact of vulgarity is diminished the closer and closer you get to the farm. Kind of hard to be dainty about things when you are standing in the stuff or have your hands full of it.
One time I was leading a Christian singles class and my male teaching partner (normally a very proper guy) used the word “crap.” It caught me off guard, and I lightheartedly said, “Oh…did you just say that word? Can we use that word here?” Everyone laughed, and we moved on.
However: As I see it, a pattern of cursing is a means to fit in, to be outrageous, to rebel, to shock, to scream for attention, and/or to “be cool.” I have always felt it demonstrates a certain lack of self control and an inability to use language properly. Personally, I avoid male and female friends who resort to frequent cussing because it just seems so unrefined. It’s vulgar. Now that I’m married, I would be horrified if my husband thought it was OK to sit around and cuss with our teen son.
As for its place in Christian fiction: I don’t think cursing and cussing are necessarily useful tools for making a character more sinister. I have actually researched this subject relevant to Hitler. His close associates said he did not have a habit of swearing.
The point is knowing your audience. If your husband led your son into swearing, that’s one thing. I’m trying to lead my son to Christ and speaking his language on occasion is helping bring him closer to the Lord. Once he becomes personally acquainted, I expect his language would change as his heart is changed, as mine has.
“I have always felt it demonstrates a certain lack of self control and an inability to use language properly. ” Your feelings are meaningless. You are simply demonstrating your social class, or the social class you wish to belong to, and that is all. Remember, “vulgar” simply means “common”. That is why farmers (as somebody noted above) use the word “shit” on the farm. When they have to shovel it, they don’t care what the proper word for it is.
Regarding Jill’s comment: The only social class I belong to is Christian. And why do you feel the need to devalue my opinion by writing “Your feelings are meaningless” –yet in another post you think you are entitled to express your feelings about the FCC and profanity? Furthermore, the definition of vulgar which you cite is archaic. The English language is “malleable” as Mike stated. Your description was not the definition of the word as I used it.
Regarding Johne Cook and his son: “speaking his language on occasion is helping bring him closer to the Lord” — It’s interesting that you state you never use cuss language like the F word in front of your wife, only in front of your son. If it’s harmless and bonding, then what are you protecting her from?
Returning to Mike’s original question: Have we swung too far in the opposite direction? Cursing is a feel-good habit that both Christians and non-Christians indulge in, either privately or publicly. There are at least 25 Scriptures that caution believers against cursing and foul language. Some different words used to describe it are corrupting talk, foolish talk, crude joking, obscene talk, and speaking in vain. Using bad language does not mean someone isn’t saved; it’s more a sign of how much of Christ’s character they have allowed to be imprinted within them. We are all works in progress. However, at some point the public use of profanity is going to impact our Christian witness in a negative way.
I’m a technical writer. It’s my job to understand my audience. My agnostic son is puzzled by unconditional love and sees something he can’t explain at our little community church, at Bible study, at home. He humors me by attending and I try to be careful about which hills I die on. Language isn’t one of them. I’m far more concerned about maintaining an open and positive relationship than enforcing a strict language standard once he already adopted a mode of speaking that differs from what I prefer. I’m more concerned with being winsome and relatable than I am about forcing him to adhere to the standards that I am willing to adhere to because I have Christ within me. He senses the space I’m giving him and responds by honoring me when I do request him to do or not do something. If the purpose of discipline is to correct behavior and restore relationship, I’m trying to keep the relationship solid to begin and trust that his behavior will improve the longer he spends around me and other genuine Christ-followers.
As for Linda, the liberty I allow myself on occasion with E. to draw us closer would have the reverse effect on her, so I temper my language there to be fewer big words, fewer pronouns, more empathetic language, and so on. I’ve been married going on 28 years and know what my mate responds best to. What’s harmless and bonding with him has the reverse effect on her, so I use other language we’ve developed over nearly 30 years being around each other.
Christ spoke a certain way to children, another way to the common people, another way with his apostles, and still another way to the religious elite of his day. He knew his audience, and I know mine. This is no great mystery.
I wasn’t devaluing your feelings so much as informing you that your feelings do not equate to a definition of reality. As in, just because you say that you “feel” somebody who uses bad language isn’t able to use language properly, that doesn’t mean that that person actually isn’t able to. Do you understand the distinction?
No, that definition of vulgar is NOT archaic. It is modern. You are lying to yourself if you believe otherwise. You do not wish to recognize your own snobbishness. See below.
“The only social class you belong to is Christian.” Now I know for certain you are either a liar or blind.
Why am I being so harsh with you? Your original comment reeks of snobbishness. Go read it again if you don’t believe me.
I was going to let this go, but I see people are still posting two days later. In response to Jill: You do not define me. You do not even know me. I don’t like profanity. You can respectfully disagree with me and challenge me, which is what this blog encourages. That is fine with me. But through your vile name calling and labeling, you have crossed the line and engaged in verbal abuse. It’s ironic, because the theme of this particular blog was crossing the line through what the Apostle Paul called “unwholesome talk.”
What fascinates me is how society has a whole determines what words are now vulgar, usually based on the groups who are offended by them. Thus no one can even say the n word; even while referring to it, one must say ‘the n word.’ The b word is the same way. Unless you are a member of that particular group. Then you can use the word affectionately when referring to one another. *shakes head*
*like* 🙂
I’m one of those that came from a family where you didn’t cuss (although my tattooed navy father would slip up time to time). And yes, my mouth was washed out with soap when I came home with a new word to use on my brother.
But over the last few years, my view on cussing changed. Your post nailed my viewpoint now. I’ve seen people who wouldn’t dare let a cuss word slip from their mouths, but they had no problem gossiping, lying, backbiting, and tearing down a person until they were a quivering mess of tears and saw no sin in the matter. Sigh.
Funny story. A couple months ago, I was talking with my junior high boys (I work with our youth and somehow I ended up with the junior high boys group because they scared everyone else lol). We were talking about cussing and one boy said, “But once in a great while it is the only word that fits a situation.”
Within that second, I had two answers. The “Christian” answer was no, we never cuss. The other answer was one I had a couple weeks earlier, that once in a while, that is the only word you can use to describe a situation. Like that week when you find out your dad is dying, your dog needs to be put down, your son ends up in the ER, and you get stuck in the middle of a deserted Kansas road at night in a foot of mud. Sorry, crud doesn’t even begin to describe a week like that.
So I answered my boys truthfully. I said yes, once in a while. The condition of our hearts matter more than what comes out of our mouths, after all, that is the source of our words.
To be frank, my give-a-fuck broke a long time ago for this subject. The FCC can shove it. Why those seven words? Huh? What, they don’t want commoners taking over the airwaves? Only those with proper, gentrified speech can control the conversations in this country? Yes, indeed, I’d like to know why freedom of speech is curbed in broadcasting. As far as Christians using language, I’m sure each can allow his/her conscious to guide him/her (ooh, now I’m politically correct, if not FCC correct) and leave the rest of us alone.
Honestly, Jill, I’m about in the same boat. My only concern is that I not teach my somewhat-sheltered homeschool teens that cuss words are unconditionally acceptable, because there’s still a difference a lot of times between workplace language and personal-life language.
Most of my closest friends aren’t exactly lily-tongued, and I kind of like them better for it. It tells me we have a comfort level where peripherals are set aside. Of course, I’m rather fond of rough-edged types in the first place.
I love this post.
Juzzed as mudge as cinnamon toast.
No – wait – actually mutch moor,
cuz wheat-free toast is such a bore.
No, but really. Well said. While the actual “dirtiness” of words is entirely debatable (and often just the product of class snobbery), the Bible is very specific about the dangers of referring to another man – no matter how he flips his pancakes – as “worthless”.
While God may not mind dat slang, He does mind “dis”.
On retrospect, this comment reveals to me that I should really go to lunch.
You had me at ‘cinnamon toast.’
It seems that the issue with cursing is not that some words are inherently wrong or evil, but the intent behind them, the impact they have on others and how they reflect on our Lord. In that broader sense, scripture is clear how our words should be used. So, this could mean that there are many words and phrases we should think twice before using, whether they are considered a curse word or not.
You left out those of us who use profanity as a pain management tool. (No. I’m not kidding. )
To be clear: Not “profanity” but culturally-disapproved Anglosaxonisms.
I think that we as Christians can’t justify swearing. James chapter 3 gives us the reasoning why, because it curses those made in the image of God. Luke 6:45 also says that we speak out of the abundance of what’s inside of us, which should be a caution to speak certain ways.
The use of it in art is a different argument, and I don’t know if there’s an easy answer for that. It depends on the artist-some people can paint nudes without it being an occasion of sin, some can’t. I don’t think even if I used profanity I’d be comfortable with it; I’ve tried, and like violence too much of it makes the work more about the profanity than the plot.
I have really never heard of Mike Duran. I think we could be friends. I love the book titles. I love how he is edgy and a little snarky. Definitely authentic. That speaks to me. I think this post is so balanced and well done. In certain situations, anything less than a cuss word is inappropriate and weak. A verse that speaks to this: Like apples of gold in settings of silver,
Is a word spoken at [a]the proper time.” Proverbs 25:11