Hail to the Chief Savior of Science

He’s saved us from national disgrace, economic collapse, crooked bankers, institutional racism, poverty, and unaffordable health care. Now the Dem’s Enlightened Being has saved us from eight years of the scientific dark ages. From Scientific American 10: Guiding Science for Humanity. The leading science magazine in America selected ten people who have “demonstrated outstanding commitment to assuring that the benefits of new technologies and knowledge will accrue to humanity”:

After eight long years in exile, scientists have been enthusiastically welcomed back into the White House. In the first few months of his administration, President Barack Obama acted with remarkable speed to place science at the center of policymaking on climate change, energy, health care and research funding. He wiped away science-averse policies and appointed outstanding scientific talent—including physicists Steven Chu and John Holdren, marine ecologist Jane Lubchenco, and biomedical experts Harold Varmus and Eric Lander—to top posts.

…When making the choice to award the president, we searched among less obvious candidates who were deserving of broader public recognition. But President Obama’s accomplishments in a matter of weeks of taking office were so extraordinary that he could not be denied. The new president’s actions have proved almost startling after the Bush admin­is­tra­tion, which was criticized for routine suppression of scientific knowledge for political purposes. But the impact of the Obama White House will likely reach far beyond such a facile comparison. The president’s unprecedented emphasis on science and technology should propel basic research, innovation, and U.S. scientific and technological competitiveness for generations to come. (emphasis mine)

For folks who pride themselves in objectivity, it’s amazing how “gushy” the scientific community is for our Prez. According to these “level-headed,””unbiased” academics, Obama single-handedly saved us from “eight years in exile,” acting with “remarkable speed” to turn back oppressive “science averse policies” and “routine suppression of scientific knowledge,” with an “unprecedented emphasis on science and technology.” Remarkable. Extraordinary. Startling. Unprecedented. These are the words scientists are using to describe Barack Obama. Who knew?

So now that the Commander in Chief has delivered us from the technological Stone Age (otherwise known as the Bush presidency) and saved science “for generations to come,” perhaps he can solve a more perplexing problem: media bias.