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Jennifer Knapp is Gay… and I’m Heartbroken

It’s funny how we come to relate to artists, most of whom we never personally meet. We read their books, enjoy their films, or celebrate their music, and somehow feel we DO know them. We cheer their achievements, worry over their trials, and mourn their suffering. So it is, when I learned that Christian singer Jennifer Knapp recently admitted in an interview with Christianity Today to being a practicing lesbian, I was heartbroken.

You see, my family loves Jennifer Knapp. We own all her CD’s and saw her in concert once. In fact, during my daughter Melody’s turbulent teenage years, Ms. Knapp’s Kansas album was a source of inspiration for that struggling youngster. No surprise, when Melody got married, I walked her down the aisle to a Jennifer Knapp song. So when the musician went on sabbatical 7 years ago, we were all bummed, and a little confused. And since we heard of her return, we have been eager to dive back in.

And then the admission that she was gay.

As you can expect, there’s lotsa ink and tons of controversy. Sides being drawn. Positions being re-stated. There’s the obligatory calls for repentance and/or dis-fellowship. Hmm. And, of course, there’s those who are celebrating Knapp’s coming out. After all, she was made that way, so why not be honest about it, right? Then the discussion moves into the Christian market phase. Can the album be considered Christian? Will she be playing Christian concerts? And on and on.

Frankly, I’m still too numb to go there.

I always ask a simple question of those who approve of, or are just indifferent toward, same-sex relationships. If you could have a choice, would you rather want your child in a heterosexual or a homosexual relationship? 9 out of 10 times the people I ask confess they would rather have their child choose a heterosexual relationship. And the ones who don’t usually stand by their guns as a matter of principle, not preference.

Why is this? Why do most people agree that heterosexuality is better? Is it just because same-sex relationships are still stigmatized? Or is there a deeper, more obvious reason?

“We all stumble in many ways,” said the apostle James (Jam. 3:2). I know I stumble in many ways. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” said that ex-Pharisee (Rom. 3:23). Again, I concur. The reason I’m sad for Jennifer Knapp is not because she is admitting to have “stumbled” or “fallen short.” That I can handle. Rather, her confession is a concession to live there, to stop the struggle.

No, I don’t hate Jennifer Knapp. Disappointed, sad maybe. But I can’t judge her relationship with God or make some pronouncement about her salvation. I’m glad she is making music again and, once the smarting resides, will probably buy her album. But, dear Jen, as one of your long-time fans, please know: today you took a piece of my heart with you…

{ 32 comments… add one }
  • Javier April 15, 2010, 3:29 AM

    I'm sad that you still have a problem with Christians in loving same-sex relationships. That is truly sad. I am glad there are fewer and fewer Christians who harbor such views today.

    • Heidi April 3, 2014, 12:28 PM

      I agree totally!

  • Jay April 15, 2010, 3:46 AM

    Javier, if you have a problem with Mike, you have a problem with the church, which has always had its position on homosexuality.

  • Nicole April 15, 2010, 5:18 AM

    So incredibly sad.

    Javier, the Bible is clear on homosexuality. It's a sin, just like any kind of fornication. No better. No worse. But clearly sin.

    I think we'd all agree "dying to self" is incredibly difficult.

    • Justin Little May 29, 2024, 6:19 PM

      Jennifer is way more Christlike than posts like this.

  • Mark April 15, 2010, 6:00 AM

    I have never been a Jennifer Knapp fan. Tried one of her CD's, and I just don't get it.

    Having said that, the article did indeed make me sad, and for the very reasons you articulated so well. I'm still not sure where we go from here, either, other than to pray for her and us.

    There is none righteous. And yes, that does include me.

  • johnny vee April 15, 2010, 7:16 AM

    There is no sin in being attracted to someone of the same sex. We all struggle with temptation. The temptation is not a sin. Its when we act upon our temptation, when the sinful act is committed , then it is a sin. What it boils down to, is its a problem of worship. Read Romans 1: 18-32. When we start to give thanks and worship to things that were created, instead of the Creator, this starts a downward spiral. And God’s response to this, his wrath, is to deliver us over to our depraved minds and let the sin run its full course, which is ultimately death. This downward spiral leads to idolatry. We were all created to worship, yet not all of us worship that which we were created to worship. When we try to justify the sin in our lives, that is a sign that our hearts are darkened and our minds futile. That is a wake up call for me, whenever i find myself trying to justify the sin in my life. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, but praise be to him that if we turn to him, in worship and in thanks, we will act and think the way we were truly created to be. That doesn’t mean temptation will cease, or that we will never sin again. As long as we are in this body, we will continue to struggle between living in the spirit and the flesh. Living out the Christian faith is a day to day process. In order to live like Christ, we need to make sure that we are living in obediance to him. To dwell in his righteousness, by worshiping him alone, and giving thanks to him alone. i highly encourage you guys to check out those verses: romans 1: 18-32

  • Malcom J April 15, 2010, 12:10 PM

    You can be sad that many Christians have a different interpretation and application of the Bible than the conservative, fundamentalist view if you want, but I rejoice that there are plenty of Christians and churches that do not subscribe to a cruel, unrealistic view that same-sex relationships are wrong. She is free to worship at my church as a fully gay Christian with her partner. If fact, my congregation of Lutherans blesses same-sex unions now! Welcome Jennifer Knapp! I love to worship to your music.

    • Joseph January 25, 2013, 11:36 AM

      any church that says that homosexuality is right and that it is not a sin are 1. Not christian churches to begin with and 2 they are spreading deception that is leading its followers into hell fire.
      Walking in God is walking in love and love ALWAYS speaks the truth even if the hearer doesn’t want to hear it

  • Mike Duran April 15, 2010, 12:22 PM

    Malcom, are you inferring that any "different interpretation and application of the Bible" than yours, or the Lutheran church's, is "cruel" and "unrealistic"? It is totally possible to be "kind" and "realistic" and still hold that same-sex relationships are wrong.

  • RJB April 15, 2010, 12:48 PM

    Malcom J

    Our differences when it comes to same-sex marriage is not a problem with a mis-interpretation of the Bible. The Bible is 100% clear on the subject. Our problem is a mis-interpretation of God.

    My God has defined himself in the Bible and to know Him is to know/cherish/obey/understand him as he has revealed himself through the Holy Spirit and his Word.

    Your God is based on your feelings that the idea of a God makes you happy. And being happy is the most important thing. And oh yeah He left us an old book on how to be happy. But you have to skip the unhappy parts.

    And by the way, the Bible calls a God we make up, idolatry. Or do you not believe that part either?

  • Mike Duran April 15, 2010, 4:17 PM

    Appreciate your comments, Malcolm. People acting "hateful or cruel," whether they are gay or straight, is always wrong. That is a separate issue here, and one I think often gets used as a smokescreen.

    The main reason for my, and many evangelicals, opposition to same sex relationship is what Scripture teaches. You might think that "believing that same-sex relationships are necessarily wrong is a very cruel and inhumane point of view." But if the Bible genuinely teaches that same-sex relationships ARE wrong, then to validate them we must either (a) Re-interpret Scripture to suit our position or (b) Charge the Bible with being "cruel and inhumane." My guess is that you and the Lutheran church are employing (a).

    How one interprets the Bible is usually the defining factor in their position toward same-sex marriage, and is, most likely, the reason we see things differently here.

  • Nicole April 15, 2010, 4:30 PM

    It's very difficult to misinterpret Romans 1:24-27. In fact, to "misinterpret" this scripture shows no regard for biblical truth.

    Sin is sin. To call it anything else, regardless of what it is, is to call God a liar.

    • Miriam May 26, 2015, 10:01 PM

      Been where she is now. I too wrote songs about that lifestyle and was lead singer in an all-girl band…Yes I was HARD CORE but Thank God for my prayer warrior Pentecostal Grandmother who prayed for me for years and years and lived to see me come to Jesus. I am completely delivered from the lifestyle and have been free for about 32 years now along with self hatred and a myriad of other demons including suicide. When people say that God made them that way I tell them the truth which is it is a CHOICE. God did not create HIS creation to violate HIS Word and Romans is absolutely, crystal clear about it. He says it is an ABOMINATION to Him. I had to WANT to be set free and cried out to Him for that freedom from the deepest parts of my soul and in His mercy and grace He heard my cry and set me free. Thank You Jesus my DELIVERER!!!!

  • Malcolm J April 15, 2010, 4:03 PM

    "It is totally possible to be "kind" and "realistic" and still hold that same-sex relationships are wrong."

    IT is possible to be an overall kind person and think same-sex relationships are wrong. I know of some conservative or fundamentalist Christians that are indeed generally nice to gay and lesbian people. However, on the issue of same-sex relationships, believing that same-sex relationships are necessarily wrong is a very cruel and inhumane point of view that mistreats an entire segment of people, including many gay and lesbian Christians. Of course, that does not mean that I view all people who hold such views are hateful or cruel. I am narrowly speaking about their view on one specific issue.

  • Amber JB April 16, 2010, 7:35 AM

    I am saddened as well. Of course I still love her, of course I am still no better or worse than she, of course she is still one of God's children- but to choose to live in and be OKAY with sin, that is what makes me so very, very sad. I cringe at the thought of so many people who will read Jennifer's story and decide that maybe it in fact IS okay.

    What a wonderful, beautiful, talented artist. That has never changed.

  • Malcom J April 16, 2010, 4:17 PM

    I seriously doubt Christians, gay or nongay, will hear about Jennifer Knapp and change their views on homosexuality because of her story. If a Christian thinks it is morally ok to be in a same-sex marriage, it will have nothing to do with Jennifer Knapp coming out.

  • RJB April 16, 2010, 5:51 PM

    Malcom J

    Its not that a person would change their mind about their attraction,I believe absolutely that a person can be born gay, meaning born with the inclination toward the sin of same sex attraction. That isn't a license to do it. Would you except the argument that "Well I was born a rapist, therefore rape is OK."? "What if a daughter told her father, "I was just born a prostitute dad". Everyone, including myself, have natural inclinations to sins. Sin isn't just things that you don't want to do but are deceived into doing, sometimes its things you love to do, but God say don't.

    The issue with Ms. Knapp is that a person struggling with same-sex attraction might say "Hey she's says its OK. Maybe I should just except my feelings and embrace my homosexuality." What we are saying is according to God it is not OK, it is a sin and your sin will separate you from God. It doesn't what matter culture and society says. We are to fight sin not give in to it.

  • Mike Duran April 16, 2010, 6:52 PM

    Malcolm, I agree with you that a predisposition toward rape and same-sex attraction are not analogous and don't help the discussion. I do, however, agree with RJB's basic point that we are all born with sinful predispositions. At what stage can we rationalize those tendencies simply because we are born with them? The Bible describes many sexual sins — adultery, heterosexual fornication, incest, bestiality, etc. Like it or not, homosexuality is included in that list. The person struggling with those sins does so, most likely, because of some genetic or psychological predisposition. Liberal Christians, while still believing there are sexual sins (i.e. predispositions we should resist), nevertheless remove same-sex relationships from that list. The question is: If we all have inner predispositions or tendencies that we must resist, on what grounds should we remove homosexuality from that list?

    • Joseph January 25, 2013, 11:38 AM

      as my pastor said a long time ago. “you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you sure can stop one from building a nest in your hair” W

  • Malcom J April 16, 2010, 6:16 PM

    Whereas rape and buying someone as sexual chattel (prostitution) are sin, a committed same-sex relationship is not. If you are serious about dialoguing with people who think differently than you about this issue, you should consider making ridiculous analogies to things like rape, pedophila, prostitution, drug use, and incest. Your analogies only make people discount your thought as preposterous, irrational, and animus-based. As someone who was once a conservative evangelical and now am a liberal Christian, I can attest that people automatically stop listening to you when you make offensive analogies between same-sex relationships and such things.

  • Anon April 17, 2010, 9:48 PM

    Nice post and you are square on.

    A Christian believes what the Bible says when its not being taken out of context. You can notice from the lack of scripture references in all pro-gay argument that looking to the scripture is not going to support their stance.

    As a Christian, the idea that scripture isn't supporting my stance would be enough to make me SERIOUSLY reconsider my stance.

    I myself seriously struggle with lust. Its a day to day struggle that quite often wins despite the countless times I've prayed, confessed and asked for the temptation to go away or to be freed of the addiction.

    The difference is I have not given up the struggle. For this part of my life my lust is my cross to bear until God sees fit to release me from my chains. And until that day I will struggle against my body and pray for mercy, for his timing is perfect.

    Should the church toss me out? No. Should they toss Knapp out? No. But they should be explaining how Knapp's viewpoint is not biblical and how it breaks their heart as Mike has done.

  • Mchenry May 20, 2010, 7:38 PM

    My God, when a person says they are a Christian AND a practicing homosexual, we know the end is near. All we can do is pray for her. This is very sad, not surprising but sad. The homosexual agenda being accepted is preparation for the antichrist and God sais this type of perversion would be evrywhere as he end draws nigh. I am always shocked when I see people profession they are a homosexual christians. God help her.Pray saints…….pray

  • Ginny February 11, 2013, 5:01 AM

    Well, all of you all are more fortunate than I am. I JUST found out that Jennifer is gay when I was spending time with God this morning and wanted to know the name of one of her songs and went to her web site.
    Sigh.
    You know, the thing about Jennifer’s music is that is that she sounded intimate in her relationship with God. He was more like a “lover” to her.
    Reading over some of her words, you can’t help but catch that. It expressed something that was in me, a desire to be wholly devoted to and vulnerable to God…not putting up any barriers.
    I think Jen’s struggle with the Christian community is there (and that’s what she calls it) is because they are telling her what the Bible says and she is not acknowledging it. I saw her difficulty on Larry King live because he did not let her off the hook.
    For me, I see someone who is a bent twig, who is very gifted and personal in her music, and was exercising her faith, but who isn’t honest enough in her relationship with God to say, “I’m gay, and I know it’s wrong, but I can’t change myself. Tell me what to do and how to cope with these desires and still sanctify Your name as holy in my life>”. That’s a lot but it’s got to be said, no matter how successful someone is or how much influence they have had musically in the lives of others. As for me, I choose to hold on to the Jennifer that regarded God as her lover who intimately received her and unwrapped her enough emotionally and spiritually,so that her expression of worship was profound and genuine.

  • ME August 21, 2013, 5:56 PM

    I am sad, there has been others who have come out and done or said similar things that I was sad at, Ray bolts or Amy Grant getting divorced come to mind.
    They seem to have a commitment to the Gospel and then decide to do their own thing. Now Ray Boltz got divorced, to be in a right relationship that he always should. People will always create justification for doing what they want.
    If she is attracted because of her genetic code to women that is no different than if I a male are attracted to multiple women at the same time. We have to resist this and strive for Christ. The question is who is Christ in the life, its not about the person but Christ who is paramount. Then we live in a society governed by humanism that has built Psychology as a science to justify itself.

  • rauc November 1, 2013, 10:57 AM

    i was sad, too when i heard she was gay. i was sad as well to hear about other christian artists, preachers, and other famous people who have “fallen”…..disappointed and disillusioned! 🙁 even nonfamous people in my old church. i was disappointed when i saw a married guy sitting next to a girl i knew in my singles group-years ago. i thought he was married with two children. turns out his marriage divorced and now he was dating the other girl…….:( disappointment….:( it may have been his first wife’s decision, so what choice did he have? was it ok, for him to remarry, or was he sinning? i forget how those scriptures work? i was disappointed even longer ago in college when i heard the pastor of that church i went to had an affair with a church member. i think his marriage didnt divorce. then back at the first church i mentioned i heard the pastor there and his wife divorced! may have been the wife’s decision. more pain and disappointment……..:( i had fizzled out of both churches shortly before these pastor events happened. amy grant, sandy patti……..all disappointing…….i guess i thought that since i struggled with many issues-sins how could i ever make it and live up to God’s standards if these people in more authority positions couldnt even live up to God’s standards……more hopelessness i guess.

    But, i guess it has all taught me—well, just the christian music industry perhaps—that i cant look up to these people. they are just people. i think ive begun to believe the christian music industry-i guess only or especially CCM-is a man made organization, just like other modern religious organizations (pat robertson, jerry falwell and the moral majority, john hagee, and many others). i believe now that these people really believe they are right, and i was taught to believe they were right (along with tbn’s Paul and jan crouch , ptl’s jim and tammy bakker, benny hinn and others), but they were not right in everything they say……CCM is an industry. maybe God’s not actually behind it, like he may not be behind every evangelical church, just because they say He is…….i just come from these type backgrounds. my mom would have died had i gone to a methodist or episcopal church or a “liberal” baptist church……..i guess its a hard but good realization for me that ill answer to God one day and the Spirit of Christ perhaps? He is the Head of His Church, and when He comes back all those who really follow Him will be with Him and all others will NOT!? pat robertson isnt in charge, nor jerry falwell, nor whoever started CCM, not whoever is head of the lutheran, episcopal or catholic churches……..maybe thats what jennifer was getting at in her larry king interview when she said she was part of a body, even if it was not pastor Bob’s church. Jesus is the head of the Church, and He will Judge when The Time comes—ok, whenever that is….ive gotten tired of waiting……..

    on the other hand, i really dont understand homosexuality. ive never struggled with it……though as a female i have struggled with my sexuality and sexual desires…….i have even struggled with what ted haggard said he has done–the gross, in my mind, M word……i can say the word at least now, but wouldnt and really couldnt until i was in my mid 20’s to a counselor. i was that bound up in my mind about it. it started when i was very very young. we got spanked so we took it to private places. it was an addiction physically. not sure at that young age what it could have had to do with lust or sex, as i didnt even know what sex was. but later after learning about sex, my mind did go there. its been a horrible ordeal or shame for me. sex has just been plain confusing to me. we are all procreative creatures, and have physical desires of some degree or another. so, the struggle between having sex for love and relationships vs. procreation. even since i finally got married, i cant say ive wanted to be pregnant, so theres another struggle. i guess if i could be like the fundamental large family baptists who never refrain sex from each other and are always welcome to a new life, then i guess id be ok in Gods eyes, and in my own mind, but im not like that. there are scriptures that talk about how sex is to be handled in a marriage. not withholding unless for a time of fasting with God? i guess same sex relationship people want to justify because its a committed relationship. i think God’s word still says its wrong, unless like Jenn tried to say on larry king that we may have mistranslated two greek words. i dont really know. the fundamental baptists believe that once you become homosexual that you cant be saved, ever. i dont see that in scripture in Romans or wherever. but it did seem a few different words were used for homosexuality-three maybe-dont have bible here with me. for example maybe one word was effeminate, so is being effeminate different that being homosexual? i think perhaps that things could be genetic since we are in a fallen world. but, then wouldnt the goal be to be healed by jesus, so that we could be whole…….sorry for rambling too much. i just saw larry king show again last night on youtube. i heard recently again that God doesnt want us to sin bc sin is bad for us and leads to death. ive heard it before. i may have read it above? i realize how too many drugs could be harmful to our body (a few might not be), and i realize how excessive alcohol may be harmful. i think i see how male homosexuality might be bad in that i have heard that the anus was not meant for such activity. the lining of it is not like a vagina. (sorry to be too descriptive) but how would being a lesbian lead to death, at least physically? im just trying to understand why things are wrong–not just bc God said so. i guess i do believe that there is s spiritual death? we remove ourselves from God, so therefore we cant commune from Him and His Spirit who are guiding us into all truth and away from evil? anyway, can someone tell me why it is wrong for women to be physically or sexually with each other? i guess there’d be no reproduction there. what else? the bible says something about them receiving punishment in their own bodies. that makes sexual sin worse than other sins. people say all sin is sin, but the bible does seem to say sexual sin is worse……..any answers? thanks.

  • brannon March 24, 2015, 6:21 PM

    If I may ask, What is a Liberal Christian?

  • brannon March 24, 2015, 7:49 PM

    I know some homosexual people, and I love them. They are good people, but being good will not get you to heaven. Being a good person, doing good deeds are great, and we should do good things, but the only thing that will get you to heaven, is faith in Jesus Christ alone, and nothing else. Its biblical. Nothing more, and nothing less. You cant add or take away from the word of God. If you do, you are calling him a liar, and saying his word is false, and is not good enough. Some people believe it some don’t. That’s your decision. Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father, but by ME”. Plain and simple. Not by good deeds, by 7 sacraments, the pope, preachers, priest, etc, but believing on the name of Jesus Christ, and accepting him, and what he did on the cross for the payment of our putrid sins. That’s all, simple as that, but complicated to the intellectual type people out there. Again, nothing more, nothing less. Back to the homosexual thing, in God’s word(not mine, or anyone elses) is says, that homosexuality or Sodomy, as it is called in God’s word, is said to be an Abomination, which in the bible means that God despises it, and comes pretty near saying that he hates it. Let me clarify this. He said he hates sodomy, the sin, not the sinner. Just as we are told to do. Just as God hates my sin, and your sin as well. Love God, love the people, hate the sin. I love the people I know that are homosexual, but I will never condone their lifestyle or sin for that matter, just as God does not condone my sin. For we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But we do not revel in our sin and be prideful. We fight against it and ask for forgiveness and strength to go on and fight again.

  • brannon March 24, 2015, 8:24 PM

    Just before Jesus died on the cross, he said”It is finished” He was the last sacrifice. The perfect sacrifice for atonement of our sinful nature. He died for us. God’s only begotten son. God’s gift to the world. All you have to do is accept what he did for you.

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