The term “Christian art” has never sat well with me. I mean, what exactly makes a piece 
of work Christian? In spite of the ambiguity, variations of the term are bandied about on a regular basis: Christian music, Christian books, Christian films, etc. But the conjoining of those terms often leaves me befuddled. Maybe one day we can all wear Christian clothing, drive Christian automobiles and drink Christian coffee while putting along a Christian freeway listening to Christian R&B.
In observance of the Dems sweeping victory of the House and the Senate, I’d like to note a similar trend with the word conservative. This is not to equate Christian with conservative, though many do and there is such a thing as Conservative Christianity.
Not long ago, National Review Online selected The 50 Greatest Conservative Rock Songs. Conservative rock songs? What is that? John J. Miller, who compiled the list, explains the criteria: “The lyrics must convey a conservative idea or sentiment, such as skepticism of government or support for traditional values. And, to be sure, it must be a great rock song.” Of course, the list includes such conservative classics as the Stone’s, “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Sweet Home Alabama,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, and for all you headbangers, Metallica’s, “Don’t Tread on Me.” But the number one conservative rock song of all time is a no brainer: The Who’s, “Won’t Get Fooled Again.” Note: If the results of this week’s elections are any indication, we did get fooled again.
If that’s not enough, Cafe Press offers an entire line of Conservative Gear. This is stuff you can wear while cleaning your shotgun, filling your 
gas-guzzling SUV or oppressing minorities. There, you will find such slogans as, “Peace Through Superior Firepower,” “I Think, therefore I am a Conservative,” and the always popular, “Support Terrorism… Vote Democrat!” At the GOP Store, you can get 
conservative calanders, key chains and mouse pads. And while you’re at it, please purchase a President Bush Talking Action Figure.
But my favorite conservative list involves films. Libertas is subtitled, A Forum for Conservative Thought on Film. They’re sponsoring the Liberty Film Festival in Hollywood, which highlights films with conservative themes. Last month, they compiled the Top Fifteen Conservative Horror Films. What exactly is a Conservative horror film? It’s a bit oxymoronic, I think. Nevertheless, these are films that stir my conservative blood. Here’s the top ten and Libertas’ enlightening commentary:
1. The Exorcist (1973): A Hollywood actress realizes there is a God. A Priest who doesn’t molest children finds his faith and sacrifices himself for another. And Jesus saves the day! How did this one slip through?
2. Frankenstein (1931): No metaphor for embryonic stem cell research or cloning here. No, you just keep defying God’s laws and destroying human life to live a few years longer.ÂÂ
3. The Omega Man (1971): Who’s the sole-survivor in New York after a plague turns men into vamipres? Is it the effete anti-gun crowd? No. It’s survivalist, gun toting, shoot first screw the questions all together CHUCK HESTON, that’s who. And what’s the most terrifying part of Heston’s ordeal? The only movie he can watch is Woodstock. Kill. Me. Now.
4. Cape Fear (1962): This film is so conservative I can’t believe Gregory Peck agreed to it. A brilliantly menacing Robert Mitchum plays Max Cady, a psychopath determined to destroy Peck’s family in retaliation for Peck’s zealous prosecution of him in a rape case. When the insane laws that protect criminals leave Peck and his family vulnerable, Peck does what a man’s gotta do.
This point of view was so anathema to Martin Scorsese that in his overblown remake he turned Peck’s protagonist into an adulterous defense attorney with a fractured family who’s simply reaping what he sows for comitting the illiberal act of hiding exculpatory evidence that would’ve set a guilty rapist free. How dare him! Take that! And that!
5. Tremors 1990: Sometimes having a gun nut survivalist next door can come in kind of handy, no?
6. Rosemary’s Baby (1968): This is probably the film that makes big hollywood
stars hope there is a God. Because if God’s real that means there’s a Devil to sell their souls to and advance their careers. Hey, it worked for John Cassavetes.
7. Last House On The Left (1972): Every horror the squares warned about when it came to partying, drugs, staying out after the streetlights came on, hippies, and coddling criminals comes true for two very unfortunate young ladies. And let’s not forget Mom and Dad taking the law into their own hands to protect their home and exact a little revenge on these marauding hippies. Why do I think the only thing liberals get from this film is the desire to enact a 14 day waiting period on chain saws?
8. The Thing (1951): So who buys it in this film? Who’s wrong in this film? The gung-ho military? Oh no. It’s the touchy-feely we just want to understand you pansy, that’s who. Because in Howard Hawks world you kill what you don’t understand. You kill em’ now. You kill em’ slow.
9. Fatal Attraction (1987): The first film since 1968 to portray adultery as a bad thing. I have to admit this is a desperate choice though. The film is as unrealistic as they come because no one would cheat on Anne Archer.
10. Friday The 13th (1980): Hey, let’s smoke dope and have unprotected loveless pre-marital sex!
There you have it — a fix for all you conservative junkies. So what if the GOP frittered away the election. We’ve got so much to fall back on. Just think: As the liberals rise to power again, you can don your elephant cap, blast Metallica in your Hummer, watch The Exorcist and remember the good old days. That’ll teach those liberals. . .
Excellent stuff here Mike! I enjoyed the film list but also was very interested on your posts about Emergent. I’ve been really, really tossing this idea around as our church has begun an “Emerging Generation” meeting. There are parts of the “conversation” I agree with and then other parts that give me grave concerns – and frankly, I’m not sure what I think about it all yet. So thanks for your comments – it gives me more to consider:-)
LOL! it’s amazing what people can create in their minds as “truth” … or “conservative,” isn’t it?! and the multi-billion dollar industry sucking our dollars away through “conservative” memorabilia, or t-shirts, or bracelets, etc, don’t give a rip about “conservative” … unless, of course, it affects their bottom line!
Oh, this made me laugh. Hee-hee. Actually, that’s more of a giggle. Pah! There. That was my laugh blast.
Tremors made the horror list?
I loved Tremors — because it made me LAUGH.
Your site looks great and I love this post! The whole Christian subculture thing has been bothering me and it’s been spilling out in my sermons.
Here is a question: Which of the following is more of a God-honoring or Christian song? -A badly-written, poorly recorded soulless song that makes repeated references to Jesus or a skillfully written, masterfully produced, soul-stirring song that examines one’s current state of heart and mind, but never mentions God?
Just a thought…
Thanks for visiting, Bill. The thing that makes that question so difficult to answer is this: God can use anything He wants for His purposes. Scripture proclaims, “Surely the wrath of man shall praise Thee” (Ps. 76:10 KJV). So even humanity’s fallenness can be used to glorify God. In the Bible, God speaks through asses — both animal and man. He recruits the dregs of society, the outcasts and marginalized. And He multiplies the simplest of offerings (like some loaves of bread and fish) to His end. All this implies that God CAN use small, shallow, deficient, unprofessional works of art.
The problem is when Christians use that reality as a mandate for — or at least, allowance of — the low-budget. In our zeal to see the Gospel furthered, we wink at mediocre presentations of it. Nevertheless, when God built His temple, He demanded the highest craftsmanship. Furthermore, Scripture says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart…” (Col. 3:23 NIV). So whether we’re writing songs or cleaning toilets, we’re to pour ourselves into it. King David said, “I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing” (II Sam. 24:24 NIV). David’s offerings were not cheap, and neither should ours be. Proverbs 22:9 says, “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.” Clearly, we are called to excellence and, that commitment, furthers our witness to the world. “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders” Col. 4:5 says, and part of this, I’d suggest, is crafting a provocative, excellent, professional “witness to the world.”
So, all that to say, there is a balance here. God can use anything — loaves and fishes, jackasses, bumbling fishermen and mediocre musicians. A child’s crayon doodling can be used to glorify the King. Nevertheless, as Christians, we are called to give Him our best sacrifice and to pursue excellence. Quality craftsmanship is both pleasing to God and a great witness to the world.
The Gospel need not be overt in everything we do. “The heavens declare the glory of God” (Ps. 19:1), but there is no five point sermon to be found in the stars. It is the beauty, symmetry, genius of the created order which provokes awe and turns one’s heart to something Other. Likewise, works of art shouldn’t be propaganda, but reflections of a greater glory behind the notes, pages or canvas. The serious craftsmen is more likely to gain the ear of a witness, than is the hack who robotically stamps John 3:16 placards on every piece. Good art can be a platform for further ideological expression, but ideological expression is not the primary purpose of art. When art is approached simply as a means for a message, it becomes advertisement.
Thanks again for the question, Bill. Hope these thoughts further the discussion. Grace to you!