I don’t hate romance movies — I hate what they’ve become.
Okay, maybe it’s guilt that’s motivating me. I actually watched The Notebook the other night. It took 
some prying on Lisa’s part and being the softy I am, I relented. Of course, it didn’t help that JDizzle, Keith Pierson and some of CD‘s (alleged) male friends said it was a good romance. But one bowl of popcorn and a dozen yawns later, my conviction about the decline of western civilization was firmly intact. Men, check your spine.
Who needs a spoiler alert with chick flicks? The celluloid couple either overcomes great odds to discover / rediscover their love or. . . well, that’s it. For the most part, The Notebook has the same predictable plot twists, clichés, cardboard love birds, sunsets and tinkling piano, that we’ve come to expect from the genre.
Yeah, the James Garner character was good and re-living the story through the elderly couple’s memory 
was inventive. But their youthful counterparts were so thoroughly shallow, and the female protag was unlikeable, pledging her love to two men, sleeping with her ex while engaged, and then agonizing over who to stay with, like it mattered. But my tolerance came to an end when, at the conclusion of the film, the older couple dies in each others’ arms. Oh pulleeze!
Is it me, or do most modern romances appear to aim for either giggly teens who’ve yet to discover the reason for their existence or dissatisfied middle-aged housewives questioning theirs’? A steady diet of this crap would have most women believing that finding Mr. Right and having his children is their sole purpose in life. Way, way too much emoting.
Contrary to first impressions, I’m not a complete quench when it comes to relationship / romance films. Just to prove it, I’ve compiled a short list of some of my favorites. Sure, 
these are not straight romances, and definitely not chick flicks, but at their core is a relationship between a man and a woman.
- THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS — Daniel Day Lewis and Madeliene Stowe sizzle. Set in colonial America during the French and Indian War, a time when men wielded muskets not TV changers, and women went without botox and body lifts. Forget roses and lingerie. This is frontier love, baby!
- ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF A SPOTLESS MIND — Jim Carrey can’t get Kete Winslet out of his mind. . . and when given the choice, doesn’t want to. I don’t blame him. The winsome, wild-at-heart Clementine (Winslet), rocks his world. . . until she erases him from her memory. Explores the emotional aches and pains that make relationship so rich Possibly the most unconventional romantic comedy ever.
- ANNIE HALL — Woody Allen pays homage to the neurotic side of romance. Allen wraps his philosophical musings in trendy intellectual jabs, and contextualizes his skittish insecurity in a budding romance. But no amount of existential mantras, psychobabble or eastern gurus can save him from the heartbreak that is Annie. This is a highbrow hoot!
- HANNAH AND HER SISTERS — Another Woody Allen flick, this one with a more down-to-earth arc. So many great performances here. Mia Farrow is terrific as Hannah, the simple housewife who’s conflicted husband, Michael Caine, can’t keep his eyes off her sister, Barbara Hershey. Everybody’s in some type of relational quagmire in this one, but the resolution is surprisingly sweet.
- CASTAWAY — Yep, this movie is about relationships. Tom Hanks leaves the one he loves, survives
on a remote island because of her memory, and returns to find that relationship has been shipwrecked by circumstance. It ends with him (literally) at the crossroads of a new relationship. Really love the exchanges between Hanks and Helen Hunt as they grapple with their strange twist of fate. - THE SIXTH SENSE – Sure, it’s a horror film. But think about it, the movie starts and ends with Bruce Willis’ relationship with his wife. In the end, it’s about and learning to let go of the ones we love — both the living and the dead. (I’m teary-eyed just thinking about it.)
- THE NEW WORLD — I was haunted for days by Terrence Malik’s film about the legendary relationship between 17th century explorer John Smith and Pocahontas. Torn between love — love of tribe, love of land, love of men — Pocahontas must follow her heart. In the end, we’re left to wonder who the primitives really are. This is about as far away from The Notebook as the Lakers are a world championship.
Guys, if you want to appease your woman without surrendering your Man Card, these are the films for you. And please, I’d love to hear other recommendations. . . as long as your name isn’t JDizzle, Keith Pierson or one of CD’s (alleged) male friends.
I think I’m going to have to go with Jdizzle, Keith and CD on this one, because I like the Notebook! It’s one of my favorite love movies! 😉 Mike, some of those movies on your list I have never seen, but I did enjoy Castaway and I did not like the New World! I can handle slow, documentary movies but the New World was boring!
I agree, love stories are so typical and predictable. But don’t tell that to Trish. If these qualify, some of my favorites are
“About Shmidt” and “As Good As It Gets.”
You forgot Sideways.
After reading this post, I decided that Jon’s and my friends’ Man Cards are official under review. I’ll keep a close eye on these guys in the near future and watch out for any leg crossing, lotion applying, zima drinking, or strawberry swisher sweet smoking.
Trish, my condolences. Melody, I did like About Schmidt but am not sure if it qualifies as a romantic / relationship movie. (Although Kathy Bates in the hot tub sure seemed to excite Mr. Schmidt.) And Chris, that’s a great call. Sideways is a wonderful relationship movie. (But be forewarned folks, the R-rating is well-earned.) And Chris, not only would I review those guys’ Man Cards, I’d demand they stand up when they pee.
The notebook is a classic. Atleast, in Jon’s Tricia’s,and my eyes it is. Noah is a foxy fella. I liked some of your choices too, like castaway and eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, however you forgot Gladiator and Forest Gump. Wow, the list could go on and on. Anyways, I think the best love stories are shown through bestfriends, loving parents, close siblings, and caring pets. Like Nemo and his dad or Tom Hanks in Road to Predition.
People watched The Notebook? Did they know it was Nicholas Sparks? I’ll quit now so this doesn’t devolve into the classic Sparks debate.
There isn’t a modern romance today that approaches “love” with any godliness, so we can rule those out (aside from Love Comes Softly, etc.).
I loved “Benny and Joon” and “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?”, both non-traditonal romance movies but so much more.
“Castaway”–the best line in the movie was, “You were the love of my life.” (How could a guy be stranded on an island and never once even think about prayer?)
I write romance, so I’m a little sensitive here. Not exactly traditonal romance for most of them, but romance/relationship all the same.
Sorry, have to add this. One of the very best romance films I’ve ever seen was Hallmark’s “The Magic of Ordinary Days”. Awesome.
“Eternal Sunshine…” was a droll little romance. Good pick. As far as the Romantic genre, “When Harry Met Sally” is hell-a-funny and the plot does a great job of teetering between cheezy predictability and genuine romantic conflict. And plus, the pictionary scene: “Baby fish mouth!” Damn funny.
I enjoy the twisted, unconventional, possibly unequivocal love of wretched souls like that of June and Johnny or Jim and Pam… so I enjoy “Walk the Line” and Oliver Stone’s “the Doors”.
As far as romance in entertainment, I think Showtime’s “Californication” is brewing something special… or it could just be a Hollywood discourse on hedonism and sullied hearts… but I’m seeing some glimpses of romance… and love. Definitely a lot of nudity… that is unquestionable.
But nudity is essential to romance, right?
Seriously, “Amelie” is a fine romantic piece.
And it has nudity.
I tend to lean towards those quirky southern films. A Love Song For Bobby Long is one of my recent favorites.
To all who want a love movie with christianity I got it! A WALK TO REMEMBER! Not too bad, I’ve seen worse and it doesn’t work out in the end so thats always a plus right? Its not too predictable. By the way, Walk the Line is Great! Forget love movies get ready for 3:10 to Yuma. They directed Walk the Line. Anways love movies are pretty cheesey but sometimes you gotta do it for your woman.:)
P.S. Dad get ready for A Walk to Remember it’s much better than the Notebook.
Hey Mike, I’m going to let you and Lisa borrow A Walk to Remember next! Now that’s a great love movie and I think you will like it!
Alayna, I’m sorry that you like movies just because they have “foxy fellas” in them. Hope you get that condition treated. The love interest in Forest Gump was pretty predictable, I thought, but I’d have to admit is was sweet. Nicole, please don’t get that I’m down on romance — just the cookie-cutter stuff regurgitated by Hollywood and contemporary chick-lit. Perhaps I’m just looking for “adult romance.”
Matty, I actually had When Harry Met Sally up, but deleted it, figuring it was too close to mainstream. I did enjoy it, however, especially the old couple interviews. Michelle, I almost put Bobby Long up. I bought a used copy last year and really like it. But it’s more about relationships than love interests. Scarlett Johansson was also great in Lost in Translation, another film I’d thought about listing.
JD, I’m not listening to you. And Trish, I have watched A Walk to Remember and did like it, especially the Switchfoot songs. Hey, thanks for all the comments!
Have you seen Bennie and Joon with Johnny Depp? Great love story:) Also… Forest Gump (“sometimes there just aren’t enough stones.”), and the ULTIMATE… Pretty Woman. The Sixth Sense is one of my top ten faves. Even more for romance, I loved The Village.
Hummm . . . Mike “teary-eyed” . . . that, well . . . I imagine it has happened at least once over your lifetime … but I doubt during a chick flick!
I’m not big on them, either … very rote.
LOVED THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS – excellent movie … not for the faint of heart.
Saw some of Castaway … but not the rest on your list.
Actually … I have so little time to watch any movies these days anyways … so chick flicks certainly are not at the top of my list 😉
You must be a bear to watch movies with!!!!!!! 😉
You’re right, Ame — I’m a bear to watch movies with. I tend to fidget if I’m not engaged and, couple that with my terminal nervous energy, I move a lot. But it’s my critical nature that makes me an unattractive movie partner. I think I’ve learned to mellow. But, like a volcano, it’s only a matter of time before I erupt.