I read a true story once about a military submarine that, for some reason, lost power and sunk to the ocean floor. The crew huddled, entombed in darkness, desperately praying for rescue. By the time divers arrived, it was assumed the entire crew had perished. Until they heard a faint tapping inside the hull of the ship. It was morse code and said: Is. . . there. . . any. . . hope?
This time of year is always a bit blue for me. Why? A friend of mine shot himself in the head almost 17 years ago to the day. His name was Gary. He was a humble, soft-spoken, Christian guy who battled depression. Gary had a therapist and was on medication. He struggled immensely with what he perceived was his failures as a father, as a son, as a friend, and as a Christian. The holidays did nothing but inflame his funk. Though he loved Jesus, Gary felt that he was a burden, that there was no hope for him, that suicide was his only escape. And so he placed a double-barrel shotgun to his left temple and pulled the trigger. . .
Though these are not the types of stories we like to hear at Christmas, nevertheless, they are the essence of the Christmas story.
Jesus was often referenced as Emmanuel. The title means “God with us,” and is the heartbeat of the Christian religion. God did not vaporize the world or leave it to wallow in its misery. Instead, He sent His Son. Immediately there were repercussions. Herod slaughtered the firstborn in search of the newborn King and Jesus’ parents were forced to run for their lives. The Savior’s coming was not marked by tinsel and bright lights, but by stinking mangers and flashing swords.
Christ did not come to remove our pain, but to walk with us in it. Emmanuel, God is with us.
Despite the cheer and bustle, the proclamations of peace on earth and good will toward men, there are those who, like Gary, feel trapped inside a sunken vessel, entombed in depression, unloved, without friends, impotent to save themselves. Amidst the neon marquees, the advertisers’ jingles, the storefront Santas, and the frenzied shoppers, there’s another sound. . . a faint tapping. Can you hear it? The newspaper announces another suicide blast, another political scandal, another murder, another layoff. And just below the surface sounds another message: Is. . . there. . . any. . . hope?
Christmas is about hope — that God has not abandoned us. Though the world teeters and threatens to undo itself, Jesus is here. Your journey involves loss, grief, regret — it’s the story of all of us. But the story of Christmas is that He wants to join you, walk with you, and ultimately lead you Home. . .
Yes. And thank you. You see it. You get it. There’s another world … just beneath the surface … and it’s not a fun place to be.
I’m better this year than last, and I am confident it’s because of so many praying so fervently for so long for me.
And I have no expectations this year. The tree is only half decorated, and it’s okay. The house is still a wreck because I was so sick for a month, and it’s okay. The kids have opened their gifts as they’ve come in the mail, and it’s okay.
We’re not doing the turkey thing for the meal for just the three of us … for some reason the girls think turkey dinner is for Thanksgiving … good … no expectations … do disappointment.
I’m not doing any tradition things, either. Traditions create expectation … expectation creates disappointment … disappointment creates pain and depression.
No expectations. Don’t expect anything from anyone or anywhere or any church. Makes it easier. No disappointment. Not so painful.
You know … come to think of it … not one person has asked what we’re doing for Christmas day or invited us over. That sucks. But, no expectations of anyone … no disappointment. People may care … but not enough. So, no expectations that anyone would care … no disappointment.
It was a little rough the other day … I happened to be talking to my friend in the morning … her husband was home from work … they were spending the day together as a family … dad and mom and kids. There was a pinch of pain, but then I moved on and forgot about it.
A little over a week, and this round of holidays will be over … that’s the goal … getting to the “over.” Then we’ll work thru Valentines Day, spring break, etc. No expectations. No disappointment. No pain. No depression. Nothing is best.
My uncle killed himself a year and ten months ago. He was like my big brother. I battle the bittersweet emotions of him being gone versus him being at peace, finally.
Ame–(((hugs))) I often want to reach out to help every hurting person I come upon, but I can’t. I can pray though and am including you.
Ame, I appreciate you expressing your struggles and finding some solace in this post. But please don’t lose sight of my main point: “Christ did not come to remove our pain, but to walk with us in it. Emmanuel, God is with us.” I’m thinking God wants more than you just “making it through” the holidays. He wants to walk with you along the way. How that will look, or what must transpire for that to happen, I can’t say. But in answer to the question, “Is there any hope?” — specifically, for you — I have to say YES. To say otherwise is to miss the point of Christmas altogether. Praying for you. . .
Great post, Mike. May your Christmas be full of hope.