Crock the Vote

No matter what happens in the future, rock and roll will save the world. — The Who guitarist, Pete Townshend.

There’s no shortage of rock stars who believe, like Mr. Townsend, that “rock and roll will save the world.” It’s a lofty proposition, I know. But what do you expect from 60 year-old guys wearing spandex. And pardon my pessimism, but wouldn’t it help if they could get along with each other before they started trying to fix the world. Seems every other music award is marred by fisticuffs, violence or arrests. Isn’t this the crowd that says “Give Peace a Chance”?

Either way, rock stars have a long history of political activism. Last election, for instance, a gang of musicians formed Rockers against Bush, Vol. I and Vol. II. So what if bands named Rancid, Anti-Flag, and The Soviettes were lecturing us on the ills of Conservatism. Then there was the Vote for Change Tour ’04, which brought out the big guns. Artists like Bruce Springsteen, Dave Matthews Band, R.E.M., Dixie Chicks, and Pearl Jam united for “the common goal of voting President Bush out of office in November [’04]”. But the only “change” they really made was the amount of cannabis in the atmosphere. And speaking of the environment, who could deny the impact of Live Earth‘s massive global concerts to “Save the Planet.” I mean, besides the cancellations and dreadful attendance, they left a carbon footprint the size of Hiroshima.

Now with the Presidential Election in full swing, the glitterati are out in force. Barack Obama has clearly created the most buzz, and I’m thinking it’s because he’s being called “the rock star of politics”. Course, what with the history of rockers and politics, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Either way, he’s definitely getting his share of celebrity endorsements.

But do celebrity endorsements matter? Most statistics say it’s negligible. According to the Pew Research Center, voters are 18% more likely to select a candidate endorsed by their minister, priest or rabbi. Just below the clergy, is Oprah Winfrey is at 15%. Perhaps even more disturbing is Angelina Jolie (6%) and Kanye West (4%). Why anyone would base their political opinions upon what Kanye West says, is beyond me.

For the record, Bruce Springsteen‘s opinion about who I should vote for in ’08 matters 0%. That goes for Green Day, Dave Matthew’s Band, Neil Young, and Rancid. Since when did knowing how to play a guitar, strut on a stage, and growl into a mic, make someone an expert on foreign affairs and domestic spending. Heck, half these celebrities can’t stay married or pass a piss test, and yet they want to advise us on how to end genocide in Darfur. Puhlease!

Maybe this is why Alice Cooper’s spin is so refreshing:

“If you’re listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you’re a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we’re morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal.”

“Besides,” he continued, “when I read the list of people who are supporting [John] Kerry, if I wasn’t already a Bush supporter, I would have immediately switched. Linda Ronstadt? Don Henley? Geez, that’s a good reason right there to vote for Bush.”

Forget that this guy paints his face and scowls a lot. In an age where celebrities are idolized, and their endorsements are coveted, Cooper’s opinion is a much-needed shout-out to the media-numbed masses. Perhaps if we formed our political opinions through humble dialog and thoughtful study, rather than through the on-stage diatribe of a millionaire with bleached hair, a tongue stud, and a minimal grasp of world history, we’d be better off.

Either way, with an important election looming for American voters, we can expect the celebrity endorsements to fly. Oprah for Obama. B.S. for Clinton. Michael Moore for Fidel Castro. Oh well, look on the bright side: If worse comes to worse, we can always form Rock Against Hillary Vol. I.