I’ve been considering doing a non-fiction project for some time that would chronicle my personal pilgrimage away from and back to the Church and how, despite all Her faults, the Church both Universal and local, remains God’s chosen method to reach and heal the world.
Ever since I decided to turn my attention to writing, I’ve felt I had a story to tell. You see, I’ve been a part of the Church for most of my life. Raised in an alcoholic home, I attended nine (strict) years of Catholic school, only to completely abandon faith during high school. There, I turned to drugs, the occult, and mysticism. After a grueling existential quest that was punctuated by a horrible auto accident, I converted to Christianity and soon after, was ordained and began pastoring a small church. It was a bittersweet but brutal journey that eventually led, after more than a decade of blood, sweat, and tears (literally), to the disbanding of the church and my leaving the ministry. I wandered in the interim, struggling with cynicism, confusion, and bitterness. Why would God take me through so much only to pull the plug? I’d lost friends, made enemies, been emotionally bruised. Heck, I was once even threatened to be shot by an angry husband! (Ah, church life.) I had every reason to leave the Church, and for a while I did. Funny thing: Now I believe more strongly in the Church than ever before.
So what happened? Well, therein lies the telling.
Several things have made me feel unqualified to undertake such an endeavor. For one, it’s not a particularly glamorous story. There’s church politics, marital conflicts, baptisms, defections, scandal, tragedy and triumph, and collapse — you know, typical church life stuff. Another reason, is that I’m not a theologian and have no formal ministerial education. I haven’t started a foundation or traveled the world with a message. I’m not a “career pastor” seeking to expand my ministry. I’m no expert. I’m a layman. I have a day job, attend a modestly-sized church, struggle to build relationships, and strive to serve and stay involved. Just like most Christians I know.
But having blogged now for seven years, interacted with people, and kept a close eye on religious culture, I’ve watched what I consider a disturbing trend involving the Church. I’ve called it the “Bash the Church Bandwagon.”
Seems like every other week there’s a new book out about the decline of religion and the irrelevance of the Church. Books like They Like Jesus but Not the Church, unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity…and Why It Matters, Jesus Wants to Save Christians, and You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving Church… and Rethinking Faith, all share a simple, yet popular premise: organized Christianity is failing; it is corrupt, out of touch, and/or in decline. Postmodern and Progressive Christians are often highly critical of the American evangelical church, characterizing today’s spiritual seekers by their rejection of traditional religion and institutional affiliation. And, at the heart of this rejection — at least according to these detractors — is the American Church’s disconnect from Jesus and the real world.
Whether or not these individuals intend to bash the Church, it has that feel. But is the organized Christian Church really as bad as she’s being made out to be? Have we drifted so far out of touch, become so defiled by a love for money and power, become so beholden to politics, become so bigoted and hate-filled, become so detached from the real Gospel, that scrapping the old clunker is the only way to move forward?
After over 30 years of involvement with Christians, seekers, ministries and churches (big and small), and pastors of all stripes, I’ve concluded that The reports about the Church’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. Finding flaws in the American Church is like shooting fish in a barrel. What we often conveniently miss are the success stories. Stories about how local faith communities have served and strengthened their cities, how churches have transformed spiritual landscapes, provided education and assistance, healed relationships, and offered support (physical and spiritual) during the darkest of days. As much as the Church has problems, it largely remains God’s answer to the world’s needs.
If anyone has a reason to bash the Church, I do. But I don’t And I don’t think you should. And I want to tell people why.
So I pitched this idea to my agent last week and she was thrilled. Frankly, this surprised me. But after much prayer and consideration, I think it’s time to embark on this journey. I’m currently wrapping up a fiction project which we’re planning to start pitching in a couple months. After that, I’ll dig into research for a book about The Church: A Pilgrimage of Return. Over the next few months or so, I’ll be picking your brain for ideas and opinions, and keep you abreast of my progress. Your prayers would be much appreciated!
Sounds like a great project, Mike. “If you write it, they will read!” Grin.
I love this idea.
I am with you on the church bashing business. I’ve been in good churches and in bad churches, but I am convinced that in this body full of sinners saved by grace, God resides. He is our God and we are his people.
I think this is a big job you are biting off. I guess your slant–your personal story–will help you focus. I’ll pray for you as you keep us updated.
Really excited about this Mike. I think this is a perfect book for you to write. You’re going to crush it.
Brandon, your book is actually in my TBR research pile. I’ll let you know when I get there. In fact, I’d love to chat on the phone sometime. Perhaps we can set something up for the near future. Thanks for the encouragement!
Plug for Brandon’s book: I enjoyed it very much. I have a review waiting in my queue of blog posts.
Thanks for mentioning it! Just bought it!
I’ve noticed this Bash the Church Bandwagon too, Mike. These days bashing is popular among Christians, especially among those in positions of leadership who feel the need to appeal to what they see as the “new” Christianity. It sounds like this is a book that needs to be written.
I will definitely interested in reading this book. I don’t bash the church all the time, but there’s something that really bothers me about denominations. They all think they’re right. That’s fine. Why wouldn’t they? But what gets me is that they can’t open their hearts to people who believe differently. I’ve heard it all, from “you have to be re-baptized in order to join our church” to “worshipping at another church that doesn’t share our beliefs is worshipping at Satan’s altar”. Denominational Christians seem to believe that only their views bring proper salvation/faith. Maybe you could address this issue in your book.
Jill, this is perhaps the hardest part of identifying with the Church or a church. This issue and its variants has to be addressed in a book like this. Some things I’ve learned: (1) The Church is big enough that everyone can find a home somewhere in it; (2) The list of what bothers people about churches is LONG, and justified for the most part; (3) Denominational and liturgical style churches serve a place and; (4) Committing to the Church and a church w/out having to get along w/ everyone or agree with everything they do and believe is, I believe, what most of the Epistles are about. I’d be excited to get your feedback once I launch into the project.
“Several things have made me feel unqualified to undertake such an endeavor. For one, it’s not a particularly glamorous story. There’s church politics, marital conflicts, baptisms, defections, scandal, tragedy and triumph, and collapse — you know, typical church life stuff. Another reason, is that I’m not a theologian and have no formal ministerial education. I haven’t started a foundation or traveled the world with a message. I’m not a “career pastor” seeking to expand my ministry. I’m no expert. I’m a layman. I have a day job, attend a modestly-sized church, struggle to build relationships, and strive to serve and stay involved. Just like most Christians I know.”
actually, that’s exactly why you are qualified. i personally don’t care to hear another career-pastor’s view of why we should all go to church and tithe to support his ministry. but to hear the story of someone ‘like me’ who’s lived in the trenches and knows the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between and over and under, now that’s worth reading.
my views of church have certainly changed dramatically. i think life lived has a way of doing that by default.
the reality is … that just as God chose Israel to be His people in the Old Testament despite their wavering faith and love for Him, He chooses the church now. Believers are His church.
i believe that this book, the telling your story and the stand you will take, will become a significant and pivotal marker in your career and life … and in the lives of many others.
I just wanted to drop a comment and say I’d be very interested in reading this book. As a Christian who hasn’t attended church in literal years–because we can’t find one we agree with–this topic is of interest to me, and I’d welcome the opportunity to hear your thoughts in full.
Yea! From my first introduction to your blog, I was drawn to your gift for non-fiction prose and thoughtful analysis of a topic. Happy to see this side of your talent come to fruition!
Thanks, Alan! I appreciate your continued readership.
Sounds like a book I would love to read and give to others. God speed!
i would be interested in your thoughts on home church
Ame, I think home churches can be just as valid as any “organized” church. Heck, that’s all the early church was, was believers meeting from house to house. Potential problems with home churches are these: They can become ingrown, myopic, detached from larger expressions of Christ in the community; sometimes they are started for a bad reason (“No one is doing this right, so we’ll do it ourselves!”) and their autonomy or lack of “accountability” can create problems, just to name a few.
it seems the same ‘issues’ *can* be found in any type of church ‘setting’
I think this is a much needed story. I hear a lot of church bashing. A lot of anti organized religion rhetoric. It seems like an oxymoron to me. So disorganized religion is better? How would that work in your job? Or your fave sport? What if there were not rules to writing or speaking? That’s what people are really saying. They want no rules in their religious expression. They want it their way. I think that was tried at least once in a little congregation in a place called Corinth. As you state, Mike, for all it’s problems what we have is God’s plan is for working in this world. We need to fix the problem and go back to the principles set forth in His Book. Getting rid of organization is like throwing the proverbial baby out with the bath water. This will be a great project.
Todd,
I bet what it normally boils down to is having a Sunday off and not being held accountable to anyone.
Fantastic idea, Mike. While I do believe the American church needs to be corrected in a very fundamental way, I’m not sure that correction is the kind being offered currently under the “Bash the church” banner as you’ve put it. Mostly what I see from this crowd is:
-Belief in the social gospel
-Hesitation of the issue of homosexuality (I sympathize here, but we’re going to have to figure out something to say at one point or another; cultural forces won’t allow us to sit on the fence forever)
-Bitterness or frustration from past church experience, from people who were burned by church to people who grew up in church and basically feel its lame
-Heavier emphasis on a plurality of belief that encourages “just getting along” with your neighbor over evangelism.
You see this especially in the progressive/Emergent corners of the American church. It’s important to emphasis that yes, there is something wrong with the church, but the answer is probably closer to falling on our faces to seek God’s face rather than quitting church to experience “boundary-less” spirituality.
**A key mark of this movement is the incredible amount of grace and mercy they have for those outside the church, and a troubling propensity to shoot old-school evangelicals on the spot.
This is a perceptive breakdown, Bobby. There are many “progressive/Emergent corners of the American church” who have not abandoned the concept of church. So I want to make sure to not broad brush everyone. Nevertheless, I do think that animosity toward evangelical rigidity, especially the issue of homosexuality, has fueled much of this exodus. Thanks for commenting!
And that’s half the problem anyway. The moment you start to generalize, you meet someone who steps outside of the box you’ve set up for them. We’re all individuals who have experienced different things when it comes to God and the church.
As a guy who leans conservative in his beliefs, I follow mostly progressive blogs to see their prospectives. Sometimes it just makes me mad, but I’ve learned a lot and re-thought some things.
I’m glad you’re writing this. One of the most painful events in my life was when my family left a church when I was fourteen or fifteen due to church politics. If that church still existed, I wouldn’t feel comfortable going there knowing what some of the members thought of my parents for all the whys and wherefores surrounding their decision to leave- a decision I believe was the right one to make. The amount of disillusionment I experienced because of the situation and people’s actions during it might have caused a different person to leave the Church entirely, and I’ve heard similar stories from other people that did result in that, but I didn’t leave the Church. I think the reason people would leave is because they have put church members or the church leadership on such a pedestal that, once they see their flaws, they can’t stand it and so leave to get away from the stress of a broken paradigm, rather than accepting a new paradigm that is more in line with reality. Your story is needed to remind people that those in the Church are still human, and that God is still God despite that fact. That’s why I’m glad that you’re writing it.
Thea, I think you’re right that part of disillusionment with church is often the result of having expectations dashed. We expect church leaders and pastors to be more perfect than they really are. Sometimes it’s the leaders themselves who perpetuate that image; sometimes it’s the parishioners. Either way it’s a set-up for disappointment.
Interesting timing on this, Mike. This Sunday my wife and I plan on visiting a nearby church, which will make the first time in over five years we’ve attended one anywhere, of any stripe.
To say we’re as nervous as long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs (as my Granny used to say) at the prospect would be an understatement, as we had the hell kicked out of us at our last church experience, and we’ve been licking our wounds ever since.
But we think that maybe … just maybe … it might be time to try again.
Prayers appreciated.
John, that’s so encouraging! I will pray that God honors your steps of faith and leads you guys to safe harbor.
Oh, John! I’ll be praying for you! Let me know how it goes.
Go for it. Glad to hear your agent is excited as well.
i wonder how much ‘church-bashing’ is simply telling the truth of one’s story with a church. at what point is the story considered ‘church-bashing?’
anger is an appropriate response when wronged – even, and maybe especially, in the name of God. the anger is not wrong; our response to that anger can be either right or wrong.
***
i’m not ready to go back to church yet. i thought i was a couple years ago, but i was wrong. there are many, many reasons for that; it’s not simple. i don’t hate God, and i don’t hate His church; i do hate what they did to my girls and myself.
at what point am i willing to risk trying to be ‘accepted’ in a church group again? i don’t know.
i was told by a woman in the church that i would be accepted more if i gave more time, etc, to the church on a more regular basis – meaning, the more they saw me working at the church, the more the church would accept me. she was right. the big problem – i have a special need’s child whose schedule does not permit me to commit to anything, inside or outside of church, on a regular basis where people are depending on me. and i was a single mom when she told me that. so since i couldn’t give to their standard level, they would not be there for me.
i sure don’t have any answers. as i said, i don’t hate the church; i hate what happened to us. but the wounds are deep and painful, and trust is a huge, huge issue. and my time is committed to my daughter and family. i don’t have much to give to anything outside my home, including a church.
“meaning, the more they saw me working at the church, the more the church would accept me. she was right.”
This doesn’t sound right to me. I am encouraged to get involved in my church because it helps me grow spiritually. It’s not a requirement to be “accepted”.
It is true, however, that the more you hang out with people, the better they get to know you and vice versa…it doesn’t have to be planned or schedule, or even a time when you are doing the serving. Maybe it could be a time when your new church is serving you. 🙂 I hope you do eventually find a good church home (little “c”).
no, Jessica, it’s not right, but it definitely was true of that church at that time. i think a few things have changed.
and i do agree with you that the more you hang out with people and the better you get to know each other, the more invested you become in each other’s lives.
one of the challenges in the church is that they often do not know what to do with divorced people, single mom’s, and protracted singles. i remember going thru a ss training years ago when married to my first husband, and they told us they didn’t know how to reach divorced or widow(ed) people. when divorced and a single mom of two little girls, one with special needs, and absolutely NO family support at all, my church who had gone thru it all with me totally dropped me. i talked to a friend on staff at a church in another town about the philosophy that churches don’t know what to do with divorced or widow(ed) or protracted singles, and she agreed. i said to her, “Have you ever thought to ask them what they need?” and it was like a light-bulb went off – she had never thought of it. so there are often all these married people in leadership positions making decisions on how to meet the needs of people in situations they cannot comprehend … and they’re often failing. because they don’t know what to do, they do nothing and say nothing.
for example, one church we attended for awhile i liked very much, became wearisome because no matter how much i gently tried to even make small talk conversation with the people, they could not carry on a conversation with me. they didn’t know how to talk to a single mom. the women were afraid their husbands would do the same as mine, and they didn’t want a single mom talking to their husbands b/c they were afraid i’d steal him from them. none of that was true, but it is a fear. then my daughter vividly was/is different, and they didn’t have a clue how to handle that. so, they ignored me. completely. once i attended a women’s bible study there, and the teacher said she had been thinking about it and wanted one someone to take the responsibility to lead prayer each week. i readily volunteered b/c prayer is one of my spiritual gifts, and i was eager to be involved and get to know them. she agreed but then emailed me a few days later and said she didn’t want that at all – she really wanted several people to rotate doing prayer and didn’t really want me to participate much. that broke me.
there’s a point where one cannot fight anymore. i can do as much as i can, but i cannot force people to accept me or my situation. when my girls and i drove home from church crying every sunday, i called it quits. that was not how i wanted my girls to experience church or to remember church. thankfully, now they don’t remember those days.
i’m now remarried to a wonderful man, but i still have a special needs daughter. it is difficult to find a church where that fits. also, because of her, i cannot do anything on school nights at all. i tried to find day-time bible studies or women’s groups within any church, but they fill up and cap off and don’t let anyone else in. so i’d have to be on top of it to sign up fast to get in. my brain is overloaded as it is.
i can see someday being a part of a church again … how, where, and to what degree, i have no idea.
fwiw – my girls go to church with their dad every other week. it’s a good and grounded church, so i’m glad for that. they don’t always like it b/c he’s one who goes to church come hell or high water b/c you go to church. period. the end. follow the rules regardless of the cost.
my oldest doesn’t want two churches – i’m good with that; she has two of everything else – i don’t blame her. my youngest would love to be involved in youth group, but she can’t handle it and school, too. and summer is so crazy that the kids are difficult to get to know. also, she’s a lot of work.
it gets complex.
sometimes i think about it, but i don’t push things like this anymore. when we have peace from God to move forward, we will. in the mean time, we are not dependent on church for a relationship with God or other believers or placing ourselves in relationships of accountability, so it’s working right now.
Ame, that has to be one of the frustrating and very real problems of the American church (church in general?): the want to create perfect little worlds from which we can hide from the evil culture. When single moms, divorced folks, etc. come along, they represent evil culture to the church so they’re silently (or verbally???) ostracized.
We have to be willing to let people have and tell their stories. If the church has wronged some, then there needs to be justice and righteous anger. Nothing wrong with it.
I’d say some of the frustration is more aimed at folks who honestly just think the church is growing unpopular and therefore want to make it more culturally sensitive and aware.
It’s a balance act. We should be culturally sensitive, but not to the point where the Gospel of Christ is rendered irrelevant. What’s happening now is lots of American Christians struggling to find that balance in a culture that is, in some cases, actively hostile to Christianity.
The times, they are a-changin’.
“I’d say some of the frustration is more aimed at folks who honestly just think the church is growing unpopular and therefore want to make it more culturally sensitive and aware.
It’s a balance act. We should be culturally sensitive, but not to the point where the Gospel of Christ is rendered irrelevant. What’s happening now is lots of American Christians struggling to find that balance in a culture that is, in some cases, actively hostile to Christianity.
The times, they are a-changin’.”
ahhh … i guess my world is so full and overwhelming sometimes that i’ve missed the big picture Mike is addressing here.
this is interesting … i wonder if the pressure coming down on the church will help the church clearly define who she is? and who she is not?
Ame, I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to share your experiences. Given what you’ve described, it makes sense that you are where you are regarding church. And it makes me realize I should count my blessings that I’ve not had to deal with that kind of stuff. I’ve only attended 3 different churches in my life for any length of time, all three are Restoration churches (one “Disciples of Christ”, the other two “Christian” churches). Perhaps that has something to do with it? I don’t know. But I do hope this discussion is giving Mike some inspiration for his new project!
thank you, Jessica 🙂
There are many who think your Christianity is defined by your activity level in the church. It’s not a new issue, but it still surprises me that it seems so widespread. It is also putting works before faith. Wonder what Martin Luther would think of many of the churches today that were created after he started the Reformation?
DD – i was actually very surprised, too. i had always been active in church, so i hadn’t experienced this side of it. also, this particular church is the one our family had been in for good many years. they knew what happened. they knew my daughter. as a single mom with two little ones, one with special needs who was/is very demanding by default of her needs, and raw from the divorce, her comments devastated me. i couldn’t do what she said i should. and, even now, i can’t make regular commitments like that b/c of her.
what i have always done is what i could when i could. it was nothing that could be printed on a roster of any kind, but when someone needed help, and i could help, i did/do. God has always had ‘work’ for me to do … it’s just that very little can be listed on a roll by the church.
Totally into this idea, Mike! Looking forward to hearing more. Glad Rachelle is on board, too!
“Seems like every other week there’s a new book out about the decline of religion and the irrelevance of the Church.”
I agree. I have to distance myself from such chatter because it becomes toxic.
Your new project sounds very intriguing!
Definitely write this book!
Good luck with this, Mike. I can certainly relate and wish you the best. I’ll be praying.
Sounds like a great project. I don’t understand the church-bashing business–even though I sometimes even hear it in my own church. Churches are nothing but physical places where believers gather together to worship and honor God. And we all already know that individual believers are going to struggle with sin. God pointed that out to us right from Genesis (duh!).
So to act like this is some new phenomenon is absolutely crazy.
I also get tired of people using the excuse that “I don’t go to church because they did [whatever] to me.” I know from personal experience that this usually happens when the believer never manages to lift their eyes from people to focus on our Almighty God. I’m not saying that’s easy, but instead of blaming whoever in the church, they need to start with self-examination first. And even if the people in that church are the worst in the world, it’s not like we don’t have a selection of churches to attend in most of our communities.
BK I hear exactly where you’re coming from. Some people use “they hurt me” as a cover to stay away from church and stay bitter about church/Christianity. Sometimes you want to say, you know, you’ve probably hurt some people too…
That said, I do believe there are very real examples of church abuse and instances of plain ol’ mean behavior that can really hurt a person and drive them away. It’s never happened to me, but I respect a person staying away and licking their wounds for a season. No, it can’t become an embittered promise to never deal with Christians again, but it happens, and there’s grace for it.
Awesome, Mike! And I agree with Ame…you ARE qualified to write this. The Lord has brought you through the circumstances, given you the support, and placed this idea on your heart. Most people want to hear from “regular” folks who have been through the ringer and come out with renewed hope and refreshed spirit. Go for it!
A perspective that’s needed. I studied for the ministry but never entered. Near the end of my college days, I saw a big difference in what I was being taught and what I read in the Scripture. So I waited to sort things out–and now, several decades later, I’m still not in the ministry (not the paid, professional kind), and I’ve grown quite tired of “the church.” Am interested to hear your perspective.
I’m sure you’ll have more help than you want at times, but if you’re going to open a forum for input, I’d love to share some thoughts on my own experiences in the modern church.
Well, I’d sure like to hear it…that’s just me, though.
We can certainly use such a book and I am confident you will handle it with the same care and thoughtful discussion you do here. There is no doubt the American church is in need of returning to our First Love, but all the bashing and exodus reminds me of one of my mother’s famous sayings, “You shouldn’t throw out the baby with the bath water.” Praise God He never does!
Godspeed.
I think this is a much-needed project, Mike. Besides which, you may be a regular guy, but you bring layers of depth and perspective that are surely going to make this a uniquely valuable book–such as the connections you’ve made between postmodernism and the current state of the church.